Chick on cell: Fuck! I thought I told you not to touch that, asshole!
Chick #2: Watch your mouth, please. Not all of us want to hear that.
Chick on cell: Hey, I’ve got a ham hock and a cheesecake in my purse. I’ll give it to you if you mind your own business. Fair enough?
–F train
Girl #1: I thought that sign said rape instead of rapaya.
Girl #2: It’s papaya, moron.
Girl #1: I don’t speak Spanish that well!
–32nd & 7th
HS Kid: One of my best friends is named Caesar actually…ha ha, actually he hates salad.
–L Train
Overheard by: Greg Rutter
Man: I can’t eat ketchup. It makes my scalp sweat.
–West Village
Middle-aged man, into his cell phone: It’s an oneg-shabbat. It’s just a big dinner where everyone can meet each other and talk. It’s only a few hundred dollars for you to sponsor it. [pause] Well, it’s really not a dinner. It’s just some fruit and plates for people to pick at.
— Midtown
Man: These girls love the orange juice taste, but they just can’t handle the pulp.
–Bubby’s, Hudson St.
Overheard by: Megan Buckley
A couple of black kids are pushing around a Hispanic kid, who is holding a spoon covered in chocolate pudding for some reason.
Black Kid: Wipe that shit off, nigger. Wipe it off!
–14th St. & 1st Ave.
A group of punks walk by the Hellenic Steaks restaurant.
Punk: This restaurant is perfect for me: I love steak, and I love Satan!
–Astoria
Chick: Remember when I got drunk off that cake?…Kate was there, too, but she has better tolerance and I was skinnier then, too.
–Magnolia Bakery, Bleecker Street
Overheard by: alice ayers
