Chick: Why did you move my beverage to the floor?
Woman #1: You’re not supposed to have drinks on the train. Especially not on the seats.
College chick: It’s not going to spill. Are you a cop?
Woman #1: No, I’m a taxpayer.
Chick: So am I. I have rights, too.
Woman #1: Yeah, I’m a cop.
Woman #2: Can you be a taxpayer and a cop?
–1 train
Yuppie #1: It's like giving head to a gummie bear. You know what I mean?
Yuppie #2: I know, I know…
–4th St & 6th Ave
Party girl: Can you drink vodka if you're allergic to potatoes?
Pretty boy: Are you allergic to potatoes?
Party girl: No, I just wanna know.
Pretty boy: I don't know.
Party girl: Can you drink wine if you're allergic to grapes?
Pretty boy: Are you allergic to grapes?
Party girl: No…
–PATH
Overheard by: TR
Chick on cell: Fuck! I thought I told you not to touch that, asshole!
Chick #2: Watch your mouth, please. Not all of us want to hear that.
Chick on cell: Hey, I’ve got a ham hock and a cheesecake in my purse. I’ll give it to you if you mind your own business. Fair enough?
–F train
Girl #1: I thought that sign said rape instead of rapaya.
Girl #2: It’s papaya, moron.
Girl #1: I don’t speak Spanish that well!
–32nd & 7th
HS Kid: One of my best friends is named Caesar actually…ha ha, actually he hates salad.
–L Train
Overheard by: Greg Rutter
Man: I can’t eat ketchup. It makes my scalp sweat.
–West Village
Middle-aged man, into his cell phone: It’s an oneg-shabbat. It’s just a big dinner where everyone can meet each other and talk. It’s only a few hundred dollars for you to sponsor it. [pause] Well, it’s really not a dinner. It’s just some fruit and plates for people to pick at.
— Midtown
Man: These girls love the orange juice taste, but they just can’t handle the pulp.
–Bubby’s, Hudson St.
Overheard by: Megan Buckley
