Girl: You know, I love sushi, but it’s just too much raw fish. And you know how, like, people call pussy raw fish? I guess I’m eating pussy, then? Ha! Would that make me a lesbian?
Friend: You better die.
Girl: Okay, I’ll stop smoking crack now.
–7th & 2nd
Overheard by: Keesha Brown
Girl: Ugh! Can I hang myself with your tie, please?
Guy: No! I love this tie!
–110th & Manhattan
Overheard by: Chrissy
Headline by: axc
Runners-Up:
· “But Here’s a Shoelace. And a Gun. And Some Pills…” – Laura
· “But I’m So Over This Kitchen Knife…” – Rod W
· “It’s Hard Getting That “Desparate Chick” Smell Out Of Your Laundry” – Dagre
· “It’s Not Like I’m Taking It with Me…” – mo
· “Lives Come and Go, But Argyle Is Forever” – Patrick
· “Use This Noose I Hate.” – pbump
Girl #1: When I first met my boyfriend, I wasn’t that into him.
Girl #2: Yeah, but there wasn’t an 11-year age difference between you two!
Girl #1: But he was German! That’s comparable!
–40th & Park
Overheard by: Kamilla
Black girls in SUV: What’s up, my white girls?!
White girls on corner: Wooo!
–Grand Army Plaza
Overheard by: megan
Girl #1: Wait… You’re not a virgin?
Girl #2: Nope. I had sex once. Well, nine times.
–McDonald’s, Times Square
Girl: Do I look fat?
Woman: Yes.
Girl: Why you gotta be mean?
–72nd & Columbus
Chubby chick #1: Oh my god, you know who I look like and who I sound like? I saw like this really, really old CD of Barbara Cook, and she’s so much fatter than me, but we sing exactly alike! [Sings.]Chubby chick #2: I don’t really think I look like anybody. That’s not true — I look like a Gummi Bear.
–Starbucks, 52nd & Lex
Girl #1: I’m so glad we’re finally hanging out!
Girl #2: I’ve been drunk since two o’clock.
–BAM Opera House
Overheard by: It’s 8 o’clock now
College girl #1: So, like, when we were in high school and sharing dressing rooms for drama stuff, were you ever, like, attracted to me?
College girl #2: No.
College girl #1: Oh… [Very put out] Not at all?!
–108th & Broadway
Girl #1: There’s something wrong with my tail bone…
Girl #2: Yeah?
Girl #1: Yeah, actually — there’s a scrape on it.
Girl #2: Um, really?
Girl #1: Yeah, and I really can’t figure out how it happened! I’ve been wearing pants everywhere I go…
–Prospect Park
