Where: 42nd at 5th Ave.
Hobo (to himself): Oh, so is that it? Every time you want to make me feel small, you throw Tiger Woods in my face?
Where: 42nd at 5th Ave.
Hobo (to himself): Oh, so is that it? Every time you want to make me feel small, you throw Tiger Woods in my face?
Hobo: Excuse me peoples, but can I get a dime or quarter?
College Student: Sorry, I can’t help you sir.
Hobo: Thanks a lot, whitey!
–161st Street, The Bronx
Overheard by: Peter Whalen
Hobo: I’ll let you blow smoke up my ass for a cheeseburger.
–McDonald’s, West Midtown
Vagrant: Can you help a homeless man get something to eat? Huh? Ma’am? Did you say no? I can’t hear you!
Chinese Lady: No.
Vagrant: She said no! People, let me hear you!
–6 Train
Businesswoman: It’s mighty ducky today.
Hobo: Quack!
–Wall Street
A hobo stumbles into the store, yelling things and making everyone uncomfortable. Suddenly, he stumbles upon the rack with copies of the New York Times, an image of Iraq on the front page. He stares in silence for a moment, and says: You think it’s bad being homeless? Imagine being in Fallujah!
–Starbucks, 59 St. & 9th Ave.
Overheard by: Andrea
Two hobos are drinking malt liquor from paper bags. Hobo #1 shakes his head in dismay: …I tell you, I tell you–that’s why they’ll [sic] never be peace in the Middle East.
–29th St. & 2nd Ave.
Overheard by: Tricia Karsay
A homeless man steals money from a yuppie/African immigrant, who promptly grabs the homeless guy and wrestles him to the floor.
Hobo: I ain’t bothering you! I ain’t bothering you!
Passenger #1: I’m betting on the black guy!
Passenger #2: They’re both black!
Passenger #1: I’m betting on the blacker guy!
The immigrant throws the homeless man out of the car at the next stop.
Passenger #3: Man, he’s tough! Back in his country, they don’t have McDonald’s to go to for dinner! They hunt rhinos over there!
–6 Train
Overheard by: Todd Seavey
Dude #1: I want a new printer but they’re too expensive.
Dude #2: Yeah, I know what you mean. I want to find a good cheap one.
Homeless busybody: Cheap?! That’s why you’re a fucking Jew!
Dude #2: Actually I’m not Jewish, but I’m glad you’re homeless!
–W. 4th St.
Hobo #1: Who open the doors and let you out?
Hobo #2: I escaped, muthafucker!
–West 4th Street
Overheard by: Joshua Mueller
Lady hobo: Hey, y’all, I’m homeless and I’m three months pregnant, and I’m looking for some help from the people of this train, so if anybody got some money they want to give, please help me take care of my baby.
College girl with change: I’ll give you this money if you’re saving up for an abortion.
Lady hobo: What? Nooo, I’m keeepin’ my baby.
College girl, putting change away: Okay, then.
Lady hobo: Wait, what?
–F train
