Hobos

Man digging through trash can: Hey, this shirt isn’t bad. I could use it for my bird.

–Spring St.

Overheard by: Megan Buckley

New York’s Friendliest Hobo: Your hair looks nice. MISS! YOUR HAIR LOOKS GOOD!

–Midtown

Overheard by: Megan Buckley

Touchingly Humorous Bum: Yo, what are you doing in my house? You assholes! You don’t knock, you don’t wipe your feet. You’re so rude. I’m just kidding. I’m not even homeless. I don’t want to go home to my wife. She’s 380 pounds. I gotta work full time and beg in my time off just to feed the bitch.

–A Train

Overheard by: Tibbie X

Guy: OK, everyone who’s wearing the same clothes today as they did last night, raise their hands!

–5th Ave.

Homeless preacher: Any man can be President, but only one man can be in the White House: the White Man.

–53rd & 5th Ave

Hobo: My pope, he’s a terrible pope.

–52nd & Broadway

Billy: Can anyone help Billy out so Billy can get dinner? Anyone? No? Thanks a lot!

–Taco Bell, Union Square

Into an unplugged phone, a hobo yells: Honey, honey, I told you not to call me in the office!

–LES

Where: 42nd at 5th Ave.

Hobo (to himself): Oh, so is that it? Every time you want to make me feel small, you throw Tiger Woods in my face?

Hobo: Excuse me peoples, but can I get a dime or quarter?
College Student: Sorry, I can’t help you sir.
Hobo: Thanks a lot, whitey!

–161st Street, The Bronx

Overheard by: Peter Whalen

Hobo: I’ll let you blow smoke up my ass for a cheeseburger.

–McDonald’s, West Midtown