Hobo to male passerby: Spare change? Anything helps — God bless.
Passerby: Get a job.
Hobo: Get on your knees and give me a job!
–72nd & Broadway
Hobo to male passerby: Spare change? Anything helps — God bless.
Passerby: Get a job.
Hobo: Get on your knees and give me a job!
–72nd & Broadway
Princess: So are you, like, bored?
Man: No. I’m homeless.
Princess: Oh!
–Port Authority
Hobo #1: Bitches is crazy, crazy. Had no choice but to fuck that squirrel.
Hobo #2: Nooo, nooo.
Hobo #1: Yup, yup. That squirrel was worth five cents.
Hobo #2: Nooo, I’ll tell you how much that squirrel was worth. $15.98.
–St. Johns Pl, Park Slope
Hobo: I want to cum on your face.
Young woman: Uhhh… Well, at least he’s being up-front — putting all the cards on the table. I guess I respect that.
–27th & 10th
Overheard by: Julia C
Hobo, about queer: Look here, everyone! We got a whoopie here! There goes a whoopie!
Queer: I’m a fag. What the fuck is a whoopie?
–21st & 6th
Overheard by: Dana
Old hobo: So, can I have your number?
Pretty girl, who’s been ignoring him for a while: Uh, no…
Old hobo: Well, you’re a lesbian! You don’t want no man!
Pretty girl: I already have a man.
Old hobo: Yeah, a lesbian man!
–2nd Ave subway stop
Overheard by: Dahlia
Crazy black guy: Yeah, man. You gotta get ’em while you far away so they don’t know who you is! Just pop! Gone.
Hobo: Yeah!
Crazy black guy: Man, I’d love to kill a man from far away!
Hobo: Haha!
–23rd & Park Ave South
Overheard by: lady v
Clerk: Cold out there, huh?
Hobo: No. It’s never cold out there. The only true coldness exists in the heart of man. And who taught man to be so cold? Woman! Ever since he was a baby and was scolded by his mother, man learned to be cold from woman. It was woman who taught man to deceive. It was woman who…
Clerk: Next, please.
–Convenience store, 53rd St station
Overheard by: MattyB
Hobo: Hello, ladies and gentlemen. I’m sorry to bother you. My name is Jeffrey, and I’m homeless…
Man, mocking: I haven’t eaten in four days…
Hobo: … I haven’t eaten in four days.
Man: That’s my man!
–F train, 23rd St
Hobo #1: Hillary is gay and Bill is a lesbian! She straps on a big one and gives it to him right in the ass! … Are you listening to me?
Hobo #2: Yeah. You said Hillary has a big one…
–Deli, 23rd & Lex
