Dad: What are you doing up there?
Six-year-old boy in front of large sign, waving frantically: I’m helping them advertise!
–Outside Redeye Grill
Overheard by: Target Audience
Dad: What are you doing up there?
Six-year-old boy in front of large sign, waving frantically: I’m helping them advertise!
–Outside Redeye Grill
Overheard by: Target Audience
Five-year-old boy: Let’s play Spin the Bottle!
Friend with water bottle: Yeah!
–228 E 23rd St
Little girl: I can climb over fences. Did you know that?
Mom: I don’t want to know that.
–Manhattan School of Music Precollege
Headline by: Sarah Bella
Runners-Up:
· “Dora the Explorer Will Teach Anything” – I’m not racist, I swear.
· “Dr. Spock’s Missing Chapter: Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” – Barry Negrin
· “Razor wire: You can do it, Home Depot can help” – Sean S
· “You’ve been watching Daddy on COPS again, haven’t you?” – Bryan
· “Your Cage Got Mommy And Daddy Into A Lot Of Trouble” – JAG
Young boy witnessing bus crashing into car: That’s funny for us but not funny for them, right Mommy?
Mom: Yup, that’s right!
–Outside Hammerstein Ballroom
Overheard by: Mr. Jiggy
Boy looking at giant sculpture of newborn baby, frantic: Where’s the penis? Where’s the penis?! Where’s the penis?!
Younger sister, calmly: It’s a girl baby.
–Mueck exhibit, Brooklyn Museum
Overheard by: office peon waited for the Leibovitz
Mom: What are those?
Daughter: Sour Patch Kids.
Mom: Can I have one?
Daughter: No.
Mom: Why not?
Daughter: I paid for them.
Mom: And I gave you life. Now give me one.
–Near NYU
Overheard by: Nicole
Black belt girl: My father is a doctor.
Green belt boy: Wow! My dad is an ex-doctor!
Black belt girl: Ex?
Green belt boy: Yeah, he used to practice medicine. Now he just practices substance abuse.
–Martial arts school, Bronx
Overheard by: Oh, I practice that, too
Little girl in line: I can’t take this anymore. I’m going shopping [walks off to clothing store].
Mother: Whatever.
–Wo Hop restaurant
Overheard by: Cran
Little boy: Daddy, Daddy! I’m a pickle!
Father: I’m happy for ya, kid, but I need some coffee.
–Deli, Staten Island
Misguided dad: Honey, what’s wrong?
Little girl frantically grabbing at crotch: I… I… I have a bubble and I’m trying to pop it — right here!
Misguided dad, laughing hysterically: Sweetie, that’s just a queef.
–14th & 6th
