Little boy spinning DVD rack: Die, ugly people! Die! Die, ugly people!
Mom: Stop that!
Little boy: Die, millionaires, die!
–Duane Reade, 7th Ave & Flatbush, Brooklyn
Little boy spinning DVD rack: Die, ugly people! Die! Die, ugly people!
Mom: Stop that!
Little boy: Die, millionaires, die!
–Duane Reade, 7th Ave & Flatbush, Brooklyn
Three-year-old girl on cell, walking with nanny: I will… I will, I will! Hey, don’t give me a hard time!
–54th & Lex
Little Dominican boy: … Because back in the day, people had names like Washington and York and Downtown.
–Social Studies class, PS 8, Brooklyn
Young child: Mommy, can you feel my forehead? I think I have AIDS.
–Prince St
Overheard by: Alaina
Small, weeping boy to mother pushing smaller kid in stroller: No! No! It’s not necessary! Every time I say you hurt my feelings, you say it right back to me! It’s not necessary!
–73rd & Broadway
Overheard by: Susan Volchok
Shrieking four-year-old: French fries! [Angry mother glares straight ahead and keeps on walking, gripping child’s hand.] You know what’s wrong with you? I’ll tell you what’s wrong with you. You don’t give me enough French fries!
–Waverly & 6th
Overheard by: Marisa
Little girl to mom: Shit is the same thing as sex, right?
–Garden of Eden, Brooklyn Heights
Mother: Honey, save the cookies for later.
Little girl: You’re so mean! I’m gonna sell you on eBay!
–6 train, 59th St
Overheard by: effie
Three-year-old boy: You are cranky.
Mother calmly pushing cart: Do you even know what that means?
Three-year-old boy: No. You are cranky.
–Target, Bronx
Little boy, after dad explains difference between Barnard and Columbia: So, this side of the street is for girls, and that side is for boys?
Father: Exactly.
–116th & Broadway
Nine-year-old blonde: I’m not pretty.
Nine-year-old brunette: Yes, you are. You’re super pretty!
Nine-year-old blonde: I’m not pretty enough. I’m not Paris Hilton-pretty.
–Hudson & Perry
Overheard by: Talia
Little boy: But Mom, what is my penis for?
Mom: I told you, if you have questions about that stuff, ask Daddy — not Mommy!
–Central Park South
Overheard by: L.L.
Seven-year-old ghetto kid: This is the Earth, yo!
–Earth Science Hall, Museum of Natural History
Dad to seven-year-old son: If you’re gonna steal somethin’, you gotta steal somethin’ you can sell.
–Museum of Natural History gift shop
Overheard by: rufus
Cowboy squinting at museum pamphlet with wife and kids: The Big… Bang? What’s that?
–Museum of Natural History
Child passing the Australopithecus couple: Look, Ma! It’s like you and Dad on your honeymoon!
–Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: Dottie
Employee: Welcome to the Hayden Planetarium. Please turn off your cell phones, digital cameras, and small children.
–Museum of Natural History
Mother: Stop screaming! They can’t hear you!
–Museum of Natural History
Preschool girl: Mom, can we go to that restaurant? I’m so hungry!
Mom: No, we’re almost home.
Preschool girl: But Mom! I’m so hungry I just drank my own spit!
–M86 bus, 86th & York
Overheard by: Cynthia
Eight-year-old black boy: Skeet, skeet, skeet all over the wall. Skeet, skeet, skeet all over the wall.
Mom: I told you to stop that!
Eight-year-old black boy, three minutes later: Skeet, skeet, skeet all over the wall. Skeet, skeet, skeet all over the wall.
–Restroom, Penn Station
Overheard by: Amanda
