Little boy, after dad explains difference between Barnard and Columbia: So, this side of the street is for girls, and that side is for boys?
Father: Exactly.
–116th & Broadway
Little boy, after dad explains difference between Barnard and Columbia: So, this side of the street is for girls, and that side is for boys?
Father: Exactly.
–116th & Broadway
Nine-year-old blonde: I’m not pretty.
Nine-year-old brunette: Yes, you are. You’re super pretty!
Nine-year-old blonde: I’m not pretty enough. I’m not Paris Hilton-pretty.
–Hudson & Perry
Overheard by: Talia
Little boy: But Mom, what is my penis for?
Mom: I told you, if you have questions about that stuff, ask Daddy — not Mommy!
–Central Park South
Overheard by: L.L.
Seven-year-old ghetto kid: This is the Earth, yo!
–Earth Science Hall, Museum of Natural History
Dad to seven-year-old son: If you’re gonna steal somethin’, you gotta steal somethin’ you can sell.
–Museum of Natural History gift shop
Overheard by: rufus
Cowboy squinting at museum pamphlet with wife and kids: The Big… Bang? What’s that?
–Museum of Natural History
Child passing the Australopithecus couple: Look, Ma! It’s like you and Dad on your honeymoon!
–Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: Dottie
Employee: Welcome to the Hayden Planetarium. Please turn off your cell phones, digital cameras, and small children.
–Museum of Natural History
Mother: Stop screaming! They can’t hear you!
–Museum of Natural History
Preschool girl: Mom, can we go to that restaurant? I’m so hungry!
Mom: No, we’re almost home.
Preschool girl: But Mom! I’m so hungry I just drank my own spit!
–M86 bus, 86th & York
Overheard by: Cynthia
Eight-year-old black boy: Skeet, skeet, skeet all over the wall. Skeet, skeet, skeet all over the wall.
Mom: I told you to stop that!
Eight-year-old black boy, three minutes later: Skeet, skeet, skeet all over the wall. Skeet, skeet, skeet all over the wall.
–Restroom, Penn Station
Overheard by: Amanda
Cop #1 to kid holding paper towels to his bleeding head: Lemme see your head, man. [Kid shows him the gash.] Holy shit!
Kid: What the fuck, man?! Aren’t you supposed to be comforting me or some shit?!
Cop #1: Sorry! Well, at least you’re coherent.
Cop #2: At this point, with that gash, you could light up a joint and I wouldn’t tell.
–9th St, between Ave A & B
Overheard by: rpk
Mother: … And then we can go to Barnes and Noble’s and share some books.
Kid: Nooo!
Mother: Books are fun–
Kid, weeping: –No, they’re not!
–E 82nd & 2nd
Overheard by: emily
Whiny four-year-old boy: Daaad! I’m bored!
Dad: We came here to be bored.
–Central Park
Five-year-old girl in a cart: Mama! Mama? Mama?!
Fat lady pushing her: Yo’ mama’s fat ass is right over there by the candies.
–Pathmark, Cherry St
Overheard by: Paula
