Ghetto mama #1: Yeah, I get him ready for bed, and then he starts cryin’ and shit.
Ghetto mama #2: Girl, you give that baby some NyQuil before you put him to bed and he will be good to go.
–Williamsburg, Brooklyn
Ghetto mama #1: Yeah, I get him ready for bed, and then he starts cryin’ and shit.
Ghetto mama #2: Girl, you give that baby some NyQuil before you put him to bed and he will be good to go.
–Williamsburg, Brooklyn
Kid #1: … So then I took a waffle and I filled it with eggs and grits and syrup, and I folded the whole thing up and ate it like a taco…
Kid #2: What? You’re going to catch diabetes that way!
Kid #3: What are grits, anyway? What do grits taste like?
Kid #1: Syrup. They taste like syrup.
–Canarsie-bound L train
Lady professor #1: She’s growing up so fast… Before you know it she’ll be smoking cigarettes and having affairs.
Lady professor #2: Which isn’t that bad…
Lady professor #1: Well, I guess you’re right.
–Hunter College
Woman: And what’s your favorite food?
Little boy: Starbucks!
–19th & Broadway
Little girl: Blah-blah-blah, blah-blah-blah-blah…
Mom: Stop that.
Little girl: Why?
Mom: I don’t like that sound.
Little girl, sadly: But I do… I think it’s wonderful…
–LIRR to Flatbush Ave
Overheard by: bill r
Girl watching Oscars: Oh my god, I love Scorsese! He’s so cute. I just want to have him in my pocket.
–10th & 5th
Seven-year-old girl on cell: Oh my gosh, Carrie! In Macy’s my mom just bought me the cutest Coach bag and matching scarf!
–34th St
Overheard by: georgia
Teen girl: Dude, whatever… Some bums are really cute!
–10th & 7th, Brooklyn
Overheard by: oliver
Latino goth muscle-man to girl: I know, but, like, spiritually? Emotionally? I have the cutest, pinkest little vagina [makes triangle formation with fingers over crotch]… And it’s tight.
–F train
Overheard by: meg
Dean of Students’ Services to third year student: You’d make a cute pregnant woman.
–Columbia Law School
Girl: I think having a cunt is cute!
–15th & 6th
Overheard by: Oh my
Nanny: You don’t want to watch the parade?
Little boy: They think… They think… They think the government should give them jobs even though they are from other countries, but they should just go back.
–Immigration march, 14th & Broadway
Overheard by: Matthew K. Johnson
Five-year-old boy: Daddy, why is Mommy crying?
Unemotional father: Son, your mother is crying because you are an asshole.
–1 train
Little boy spinning DVD rack: Die, ugly people! Die! Die, ugly people!
Mom: Stop that!
Little boy: Die, millionaires, die!
–Duane Reade, 7th Ave & Flatbush, Brooklyn
Three-year-old girl on cell, walking with nanny: I will… I will, I will! Hey, don’t give me a hard time!
–54th & Lex
Little Dominican boy: … Because back in the day, people had names like Washington and York and Downtown.
–Social Studies class, PS 8, Brooklyn
Young child: Mommy, can you feel my forehead? I think I have AIDS.
–Prince St
Overheard by: Alaina
Small, weeping boy to mother pushing smaller kid in stroller: No! No! It’s not necessary! Every time I say you hurt my feelings, you say it right back to me! It’s not necessary!
–73rd & Broadway
Overheard by: Susan Volchok
Shrieking four-year-old: French fries! [Angry mother glares straight ahead and keeps on walking, gripping child’s hand.] You know what’s wrong with you? I’ll tell you what’s wrong with you. You don’t give me enough French fries!
–Waverly & 6th
Overheard by: Marisa
Little girl to mom: Shit is the same thing as sex, right?
–Garden of Eden, Brooklyn Heights
