Dad: How about pizza for lunch?
Four-year-old boy: No, I think we need to eat something healthier than pizza.
Dad: But it’s really healthy. See, it has all those tomatoes on it.
–Pinnacle
Dad: How about pizza for lunch?
Four-year-old boy: No, I think we need to eat something healthier than pizza.
Dad: But it’s really healthy. See, it has all those tomatoes on it.
–Pinnacle
Mom: Okay, sweetie, time to get you home.
Drunk daughter: Shut the fuck up, Mom! You’re drunk, you stupid whore!
–Bedford Ave
Lady #1: I wonder what that kid over there is reading.
Lady #2: God, if my kid read I’d kill it.
Lady #1: Amy!*
Lady #2: Seriously, I’m never buying my kids books.
–Yankee Stadium
Tourist dad: Kids, you have pay attention when we’re in the big city, ’cause…
Daughter: ‘Cause if you don’t you die?
Dad: No, you could get lost and then you’ll become a street person.
–Central Park South
Four-year-old girl: Jose!
Latino dad: Stop callin’ me jose! What’s my name?!
Four-year-old girl: Jose!
Latino dad: If you don’t stop callin’ me Jose I’ma stick my foot up yo’ ass, you hear? I ain’t no Jose, I’m Daddy!
–Atlantic Center
Clown: Chastity.
Three-year-old boy: Hahahaha!
–W 86th & West End
Overheard by: Emily B.
School child #1: Yo, Tupac is still alive.
School child #2: Yeah, I heard that, too. I heard he’s strippin’. He’s a stripper in LA.
A small child with them gets off train.
Old woman: Get back on the train! [Small child gives her the finger with both hands and runs away.]School child #1: Yo, who is that kid?
School child #2: I don’t know. I saw him in the bathroom. He was takin’ a shit and he came out and smiled at me… And that’s how I know him.
–G train
Child: Look, Mommy, that lady looks like Daddy’s computer.
Mother: Which one?
Child: The one he has in his office.
–Seaman & Cumming
Father: Look at this — the bottle is sweating!
Six-year-old girl: It’s condensation, Dad.
–Shea Stadium
Overheard by: GL
Mom unwrapping granola bar for child: Now, eat this over my purse. I don’t want you getting crumbs everywhere.
Four-year-old: Why?
Mom: Rats like crumbs, and we do not want to contribute to the rat problem.
Four-year-old: Rats? I want to see the rats!
Mom: No! We won’t be a part of the problem.
Four-year-old: Where are the rats?!
–1 train
Overheard by: turtle
