Latina #1 pushing stroller: Mira! Today was the first day of David’s school!
Latina #2: Damn! It start so quickly already?
Latina #1: Yeah, I went to drop David and met with the principal. He seemed a bit shady.
Latina #2: Shady? Like how?
Latina #1: I dunno. He was going on about how he treat everybody in school like his own children. I was like, ‘Hold up! What family has so many kids, anyway?’
–9th & 4th
Father: Can we just go to McDonald’s for dinner?
Little girl: Dad! You know I can’t have trans-fat.
–Queens-bound 7 train
Overheard by: Patricia
Father to kids cupping statue’s penis: Come on, girls, it’s time to leave. You’ll be lesbians before you know it.
–Time Warner Center
Lesbian to pal: We could be the next big hit! Lesbians on ice!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Putting on her Ice Skating Shoes
Lesbian: You’re upset that the woman could tell we’re dykes. I’m upset that she insulted us because we’re dykes.
–16th & 1st
Drunk redhead trying to hail C train: A hot dog in the hand is worth two lesbians in the bush.
–207th St station
Hobo: Beware the lesbians! They feed at sundown!
–E/V platform, 5th Ave
Dad: How about pizza for lunch?
Four-year-old boy: No, I think we need to eat something healthier than pizza.
Dad: But it’s really healthy. See, it has all those tomatoes on it.
–Pinnacle
Mom: Okay, sweetie, time to get you home.
Drunk daughter: Shut the fuck up, Mom! You’re drunk, you stupid whore!
–Bedford Ave
Lady #1: I wonder what that kid over there is reading.
Lady #2: God, if my kid read I’d kill it.
Lady #1: Amy!*
Lady #2: Seriously, I’m never buying my kids books.
–Yankee Stadium
Tourist dad: Kids, you have pay attention when we’re in the big city, ’cause…
Daughter: ‘Cause if you don’t you die?
Dad: No, you could get lost and then you’ll become a street person.
–Central Park South
Four-year-old girl: Jose!
Latino dad: Stop callin’ me jose! What’s my name?!
Four-year-old girl: Jose!
Latino dad: If you don’t stop callin’ me Jose I’ma stick my foot up yo’ ass, you hear? I ain’t no Jose, I’m Daddy!
–Atlantic Center
Clown: Chastity.
Three-year-old boy: Hahahaha!
–W 86th & West End
Overheard by: Emily B.
School child #1: Yo, Tupac is still alive.
School child #2: Yeah, I heard that, too. I heard he’s strippin’. He’s a stripper in LA.
A small child with them gets off train.
Old woman: Get back on the train! [Small child gives her the finger with both hands and runs away.]School child #1: Yo, who is that kid?
School child #2: I don’t know. I saw him in the bathroom. He was takin’ a shit and he came out and smiled at me… And that’s how I know him.
–G train
