Unlicensed Wednesday One-Liners

Mom to screaming child: Now, honey, I want you to be yourself, just not to everyone.

–3rd St & Ave B

Overheard by: amanda

British mum to eight-year-old son: Bobby, stop looking at the bloody NASDAQ.

–Outside Toys ‘R’ Us

Loud lady to son: Go stand in line behind that Mexican man! Don’t let him intimidate you!

–Port Authority Bus Terminal

Overheard by: jenmo

Dad to baby in stroller: Did you know that the price of copper is becoming irrelevant?!

–31st & Ditmars, Astoria

Overheard by: Scarfish

Father to young son: Why are you putting your butt on me?

–Brooklyn Industries, 9th & 7th

Man to son: Don’t you tell me to shut up! I just bought you a bunch of Star Wars toys!

–Macy’s

Posted on July 4, 2007
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Ass, Business and Commerce, Gifts, Global Geography, Kids, Money & Class, Parents, Questions, Wednesday One-Liners, Wednesday One-Liners Vary, Weirdness

As If!

Teen girl: Did you know it’s not Brooklyn-Queens Day anymore? Now all of the city gets off from school.
Little brother: It’s because the other boroughs got jealous.

–Alley Pond Park, Queens

Overheard by: Rebecca

Posted on July 3, 2007
Brothers, Girls, Holidays, Kids, NYC Geography, Parks, Queens, Sisters, Teens

Then Get on This Soapbox and Dance, Young Lady

Mom: Did you go to work today? Did you?!
Child: No!
Mom: Are you bringin’ in the pay checks?! Huh?!
Child, screaming: Mom, no! Aughhh!

–11th & 1st

Overheard by: disconnec

Posted on July 2, 2007
Families, Kids, Moms, Union Square and East Village

Okay, but Did You Have to Put My Hand in Warm Water?

Tourist kid looking at digital camera, whining: She took a picture of me sleeping!
Tourist mom: You erase it and you die!

–6 train

Posted on July 2, 2007
Gripes, Kids, Moms, On the Subway, Talking/Convos, Threats, Tourists, Visual Art

Winning the War Against Space Chickens, One Bird at a Time

Little boy: Is this a fighter plane?
Grandma: No. A fighter plane is quicker and can only fit two people.
Little boy: … Then why are there lasers?

–JFK

Overheard by: Adam Vine Whip

Headline by: Miss Edith

Runners-Up:
· “Dont EVER question lasers” – melissa
· “For the sharks, of course” – Britta
· “In case you start kicking the seat in front of you” – bobofthejungle
· “To Protect Us From Gay Marriage” – ImmaculatePizza

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Posted on July 2, 2007
At the Airport, Boys, Headline Contest Winners, Kids, Old People, War, Weirdness

While Visualizing It Turning into Vitamins

Little girl: Mommy, can I have ice cream?
Mom: No! Not until you finish your McDonald’s. Then you can have that ice cream.

–Atlantic Center

Overheard by: Ms.Zipcar

Posted on July 1, 2007
Buildings, Idiots, Junk Food & Fast Food, Kids, Moms, Offers and requests, Parents

Reports of His Death Have Been Greatly Exaggerated

Six-year-old girl to mom: … And the entire neighborhood was staring at us!
Four-year-old sister: Even God! And he was still alive!

–Joralemon St & Garden Pl, Brooklyn Heights

Overheard by: Cara

Posted on July 1, 2007
Brooklyn, God, Kids

And, Like, What Kind of School Involves Factory Labor?

Latina #1 pushing stroller: Mira! Today was the first day of David’s school!
Latina #2: Damn! It start so quickly already?
Latina #1: Yeah, I went to drop David and met with the principal. He seemed a bit shady.
Latina #2: Shady? Like how?
Latina #1: I dunno. He was going on about how he treat everybody in school like his own children. I was like, ‘Hold up! What family has so many kids, anyway?’

–9th & 4th