Five-year-old: Daddy, I don’t wanna see Spider-Man 3.
Dad: Come on, why not?
Five-year-old: I hate the black Spider-Man.
Hobo: That child is racist!
–Loews cinema, Lincoln Center
Overheard by: Hobo has a point
Five-year-old: Daddy, I don’t wanna see Spider-Man 3.
Dad: Come on, why not?
Five-year-old: I hate the black Spider-Man.
Hobo: That child is racist!
–Loews cinema, Lincoln Center
Overheard by: Hobo has a point
Mom: You’re going to have a great time.
Kid: But is Chicago safe?
Mom: Of course it is! Oprah lives there!
–JFK
Little boy: Mom! Mom, look! Mo-ooom!
Mom: What, honey?
Little boy: They have douche bags! Should we buy some for Daddy?
–Pharmacy
Overheard by: Oh really?
10-year-old gangsta #1: Yo, I got all kinds of bitches. Right now I gotta choose…
10-year old gangsta #2: Yo, what you talkin’ ’bout?
10-year-old gangsta #1: I got this young bitch… I gotta choose between a girl that’s my age or a younger woman.
–1 train
Overheard by: D. J.
Little girl: I’m annoying, right? I’m annoying you, right Tío?
Uncle: Yes, you’re annoying.
–6 train
Kindly gent: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Little kid: Retarded!
Kindly gent: Retarded?
Little kid: My grandpa is retarded, and he gets to play and watch TV all day!
Kindly gent: [Stunned silence.]Kid’s mom, embarrassed: He means ‘retired.’
Little kid: Retarded! Retarded! Retarded! I wanna be retarded! [Starts to cry.]
–Washington & Water St
Sixth grader #1: When I grow up, I’m going to make a movie called The Tallest Midget!
Sixth grader #2: Nigga, you stupid.
–Triboro coach
Overheard by: face
Ghetto kid: Real gangstas get it down on the flo’, on the flo’.
Nerdy kid: What’s a flo’?
–Info Tech High
Overheard by: mary alice v.
Teacher: Who else can we write to who could have a positive impact on the environment?
Second grade boy #1: Donald Trump. [Class laughs.]Teacher: No, he’s right. Mr. Trump owns a lot of buildings in Manhattan.
Second grade girl: And the buildings use a lot of power because they’re tall!
Second grade boy #2: But where does his power come from?
Second grade boy #1: Jesus.
Second grade girl: Nuh-uh. George Clooney.
–Elementary school, South Bronx
