Little girl: I’m annoying, right? I’m annoying you, right Tío?
Uncle: Yes, you’re annoying.
–6 train
Little girl: I’m annoying, right? I’m annoying you, right Tío?
Uncle: Yes, you’re annoying.
–6 train
Kindly gent: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Little kid: Retarded!
Kindly gent: Retarded?
Little kid: My grandpa is retarded, and he gets to play and watch TV all day!
Kindly gent: [Stunned silence.]Kid’s mom, embarrassed: He means ‘retired.’
Little kid: Retarded! Retarded! Retarded! I wanna be retarded! [Starts to cry.]
–Washington & Water St
Sixth grader #1: When I grow up, I’m going to make a movie called The Tallest Midget!
Sixth grader #2: Nigga, you stupid.
–Triboro coach
Overheard by: face
Ghetto kid: Real gangstas get it down on the flo’, on the flo’.
Nerdy kid: What’s a flo’?
–Info Tech High
Overheard by: mary alice v.
Teacher: Who else can we write to who could have a positive impact on the environment?
Second grade boy #1: Donald Trump. [Class laughs.]Teacher: No, he’s right. Mr. Trump owns a lot of buildings in Manhattan.
Second grade girl: And the buildings use a lot of power because they’re tall!
Second grade boy #2: But where does his power come from?
Second grade boy #1: Jesus.
Second grade girl: Nuh-uh. George Clooney.
–Elementary school, South Bronx
Mom to screaming child: Now, honey, I want you to be yourself, just not to everyone.
–3rd St & Ave B
Overheard by: amanda
British mum to eight-year-old son: Bobby, stop looking at the bloody NASDAQ.
–Outside Toys ‘R’ Us
Loud lady to son: Go stand in line behind that Mexican man! Don’t let him intimidate you!
–Port Authority Bus Terminal
Overheard by: jenmo
Dad to baby in stroller: Did you know that the price of copper is becoming irrelevant?!
–31st & Ditmars, Astoria
Overheard by: Scarfish
Father to young son: Why are you putting your butt on me?
–Brooklyn Industries, 9th & 7th
Man to son: Don’t you tell me to shut up! I just bought you a bunch of Star Wars toys!
–Macy’s
Teen girl: Did you know it’s not Brooklyn-Queens Day anymore? Now all of the city gets off from school.
Little brother: It’s because the other boroughs got jealous.
–Alley Pond Park, Queens
Overheard by: Rebecca
Mom: Did you go to work today? Did you?!
Child: No!
Mom: Are you bringin’ in the pay checks?! Huh?!
Child, screaming: Mom, no! Aughhh!
–11th & 1st
Overheard by: disconnec
Tourist kid looking at digital camera, whining: She took a picture of me sleeping!
Tourist mom: You erase it and you die!
–6 train
