Little old Jewish lady #1: So that Moses — who was his mother? Why’d they put him in that basket, anyway?
Little old Jewish lady #2: I think it was because they were going to kill him… Something like that.
Little old Jewish lady #1: It’s so sad when loving families break up like that. They should’ve given him to a cousin.
–Chinese restaurant, 16th & 3rd
Overheard by: ysabet
Girlfriend: Come on, I really wanna see that movie about Jane Austen.
Boyfriend: She was the one that lived with the chimpanzees, right?
Girlfriend: No, that was Jane Seymour.
–38th & Lex
Man: So what do you think of the name I-lizabeth?
Woman: It’s not I-lizabeth, it’s ‘Ilizabeth.’
Man: I know. Elizabeth with an I. That’s so stupid.
Woman: What business is it of yours what they name their baby?
Man: I’m here and I’m aware of it, so I’m voicing my opinion. Spelling a name wrong is stupid. I guess they think it’s cute, but it’s gonna be a burden on that kid her whole life.
Woman: Why don’t you just shut up and keep your opinions to yourself?
Man: Well, then don’t invite me to these fucking parties where people make their stupidity public.
Woman: Just do me a favor — eat and keep your mouth shut until you leave.
–Baby-naming party, E 34th & 2nd
Overheard by: Big Larry
Black guy on stoop: Hey, baby, you got Medicaid?
Black lady passerby: I got black pussy!
–17th St, between 3rd & 4th Ave
Cop #1, to hobo: You don’t have a home, but you have a lawyer.
Cop #2: That’s fantastic!
–29th & Lex
Girl: It’s not that I’m such a slut–
Guy, interrupting: –But I would be happy for you if you were.
Girl: You’d be happy for me if I were a slut?
Guy: Yes.
Girl: Me, too.
–27th & 3rd
Bimbette #1: Oh my god, did you see that new movie?
Bimbette #2: Wait, what new movie?
Bimbette #1: You know. Ugh, what’s it called? It’s the one with Jessica Alba.
Bimbette #2: Um, Fantastic 4?
Bimbette #1: Yeah! There’s only three, though, so I don’t know why it’s called Fantastic 4. It should be called ‘Fantastic 3 Plus a Blob.’
–E 33rd & Lex
Overheard by: Kris
Thugette: So, what you gonna do about him, then?
Thug: I swear to God, he even tries it again, I will pee on his face.
Thugette: You what?
Thug: No, seriously, I will. I will pee. On. His. Face.
–25th & 3rd
Overheard by: Katie
Blonde: Do you have a first name?
Freakishly tall pale kid: Yes.
Blonde: Do you have a last name?
Freakishly tall pale kid: Yes.
Blonde: Do you have a middle name?
Freakishly tall pale kid: No.
Blonde: Well, I wanna annoy you. What’s your conformation name?
Freakishly tall pale kid: I’m Jewish.
Blonde: So?
–21st & 1st
Guy to girl: I never hooked up when I was blacked out.
Hobo: You never blacked out from liquor?! I’m about to!
–23rd & 2nd
