Old folks

Grandmother, about tantrum-throwing child: I think it might be time to put her to sleep.
Mother: Yeah. Come on honey, we'll go home and have a nap!
Grandmother, under her breath: That's not what I meant.

Westfield Shopping Center
South Morang

Guy at ID counter: I’m sorry. Don’t shoot the messenger.
Old lady: I’d rather shoot the police…


Overheard by: tom

Elderly man to elderly gaggle: Why's everyone wasting their time trying to raise money for Africa? Africa's a wretched country.

Max's German Restaurant
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Ladle

Old lady to old man, as breakfast is served: Today has been an interesting day. Somebody ate half my pancake!

Morgantown, West Virginia

Old woman in roller coaster line: Does this one go upside down? I don't like it when they do upside down.
Little boy: You'll be fine, grandma. Come on!

Universal Studios

Boy, to teenage girl: Hi, Lisa.
Old man, entering: Hi.

Eugene, Oregon

Old dude to another, reminiscing: You still got that briefcase with all that underwear in it?

Kansas City, Missouri

Old man: Are you going somewhere exciting?
Girl with suitcase: Not really. But when I get there, I’m getting laid.


Overheard by: aaron

Old woman: It's like flowers were spitting out of my ass, so don't go telling me how bright and shiny your (makes finger quotes) “effing” life is!

Small Town

60-year-old journalism professor: Oh, the choking game? Heh… I play that all the time.

Emerson College
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Sarah