Old folks

Grandmother to little boy: Elvis! Come here, we're going. (to store person) His mother was a big Elvis fan, so now he's a little Elvis.
Little boy: I have hair on my back!


Old lady to grown daughter: Well you know what your brother's problem is? He's pussy-whipped!

San Jose, California

Older woman to younger one: Man, you never spend weekends with your kids! When I was raising my kid I could count the times on one hand that I used a babysitter.
Younger woman: Really?
Eavesdropping young man: Man, I was raised on a babysitter!

Louisville, Kentucky

Overheard by: I'm Adopted

Tour guide: The vestal virgins would be raped and buried alive if they were no longer virgins. If they let the fire go out, they would just be buried alive.
Tourist: I dunno if that's any better.
Little old Japanese woman: Hey, at least the first way you get some thrills.


Old bearded man with Eastern European accent: The cost of blood is really going up.


Overheard by: Sophie

Middle aged lady in hospital scrubs: It's a lot of fun and great exercise.
Old toothless lady: I really admire you, I don't like to show off my fuzzy-fuzzy to just anyone.
Middle aged lady: Yeah, well, I don't either, but like I said: it's great exercise.

Portland, Oregon

Overheard by: Karl

60-year-old man #1: Do you get the Disney channel?
60-year-old man #2: I sure do!
60-year-old man #1: Do you ever watch Kim Possible?
60-year-old man #2: It's my favorite show!
60-year-old man #1: No way! Me too!
60-year-old man #2, attempting to sing: Call me, beep me, if ya' wanna reach me!
60-year-old man #1: (silence)
60-year-old man #2: I like the naked rat.

Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute
Troy, New York

Overheard by: Bacon

Old man to teenage girl: Every time he saw an egg he had to eat it.


Old lady: I'm not very hungry, I'm gonna have something small.
Old man: If you wanted something small, we would have stayed at home and I would have given you something small.

Lester's Diner
Fort Lauderdale, Florida

Old lady #1: I've never liked her!
Old lady #2: She was a shit at school, and she's a shit now.

West Midlands