Overheard in Minneapolis

Skinny Asian kid buying 24-pack of Keystone Light, to friend: I dunno man. I've never played beer pong against a black dude before.


Overheard by: Ian

Guy: It’s like playing hopscotch with your shirt off and the little kids are like: “Mommy, look at his boobies!” and I’m like: “Yeah. Look at my boobies.”


Overheard by: well that’s neat

Guy: I decided I would do a little social experiment. So I went to the gas station and bought a chocolate muffin and sat down outside the door. Then this guy passed me, so I shoved the muffin in my mouth and started singing “What if God Was One of Us,” with little pieces of the muffin falling out of my mouth. It was great.


Overheard by: julie

40-something suit: You know how sometimes you can love a dog so much it's, like, illegal?
40-something woman: (looks at him blankly)
40-something suit: You know? So that it's, like, illegal?
40-something woman, looking straight ahead: Umm, let's look at Halloween candy.


Overheard by: I love my dog, but not that much

Girl on phone: Hey girl! I just got done lubricating my Rubik’s cube!


Overheard by: momo

20-ish girl on cell: So, they said it’s not ringworm — it’s some kind of skin virus that looks like ringworm. And they said I’m really lucky because so far it’s only on my back and stomach, not, like, my whole body and face. The tests come back on Friday, but they said it’s probably really contagious. I just hope it goes away before my trip to Miami!


Overheard by: sooooo glad I didn’t sit next to her

Guy #1: You smell like urine.
Guy #2: Good!


Overheard by: time for a shower?

Guy cuddling his girlfriend: I’m lactating, lactating, lactating!


Overheard by: quoi?

Six-year-old: My dad took me to this music festival. It was just a bunch of guys in the woods banging drums and making litter.


Overheard by: litter machine

Woman: She’s 12 and she’s already having candlelight dinners!


Overheard by: girl in scrubs