Annoying girl on first date: Now, I don’t wear a lot of jewelry, so my engagement ring will really have to be spectacular.
Dazed guy: [Silence.]Annoying girl: And I’ve decided that I’ve got to have a destination wedding.
–Seafood restaurant, 77th & 3rd
Dude #1: My girlfriend is allergic to gluten.
Dude #2: Having a girlfriend with a food allergy is worse than having a girlfriend with a dick!
–11th St & Ave B
Chick #1: I don’t want to hook up with her again.
Chick #2: Why?
Chick #1: I don’t like her eyebrows. They’re too bushy. Is that bad? I’m picky.
–Duane Reade
Overheard by: Justin
Man #1: What, you don’t like kids?
Man #2: Dude, I make it policy to never hang out with anyone under 20.
Man #1: Why?
Man #2: Teenagers are dangerous savages and anyone younger than that is just loud and expensive.
–V train, 53rd & Lex
Haitian worker #1: Yo, no offense, but that’s what I don’t like about black girls.
Haitian worker #2: Yeah…
Haitian worker #1: You gotta find yourself a good white girl. And not just one from, like, Baltimore, ’cause they mad ghetto. You gotta find a good white girl from, like, Indianapolis, You know, down South.
–Gray’s Papaya, Chelsea
Club dude: Yeah, but I don’t understand why she won’t talk to me.
Club dudette: Because she’s attractive and you’re ugly.
Club dude: Oh, yeah, okay, that makes sense.
–Meatpacking district
Overheard by: Harrison
Black man: Quit turning around and walk, bitch. I ain’t gonna rape you.
White woman turns around and walks a little faster.
Black man: You ain’t even my type! Too skinny! I like ’em big!
–Madison Ave
Idealist: I just want to meet an old-fashioned girl who will make omelets and won’t sleep with my friends.
–7th & Ave A
Tall girl smoking cigarette on the sidewalk: You’re not my type.
Short guying selling CDs on the sidewalk: What do you mean?
Tall girl: First of all, you’re short. Second of all, you’re selling CDs on the sidewalk.
–6th Ave & 12th St
Man: I mean, the fact is, it’s going to be very hard for you to find someone who fulfills your specific needs.
Woman: Yeah, I know.
Man: I mean, what you’re looking for, it’s like beyond brains. You want a man who understands auras and energy. I mean, face it, there’s not another guy on this whole car who gets that.
Woman: Mm-hmm.
Man: You know, you’re a good candidate for just settling.
–G train
