Crying hot chick: I don’t understand why you spent half the night telling me all the reasons you can’t be with me and then wanted to have sex with me anyway!
Douchebag: Uh, you were pretty… And naked.

–Houston & Allen

Woman #1: That bad, huh?
Woman #2: And he stutters. I just want to smack him over the head. Spit it out!


Hispter eating in Bonita in Williamsburg: “…and they have their own vocabulary, using phrases like, ‘hanging out.'”

Teenage boy #1: I don't know, man. I mean, she's hot, but…
Teenage boy #2: Dude, have you seen her? I would wring her socks out with my mouth.

–20th St., Windsor Terrace

Overheard by: Mel

Brunette: I would never date a guy who wears skinny jeans.
Blonde: What's wrong with skinny jeans?
Brunette: It means he's got fashion sense. I just don't need that. I would also never date a guy who's sociable.

–Downtown 1 Train

Overheard by: wearing skinny jeans and wouldn't date her either

Drunk guy with baggy pants #1, watching two hot girls outside library: Daaamn!
Drunk guy with baggy pants #2: Yeah, man!
Drunk guy with baggy pants #3: Yeah, they're geeks, though.

–Outside NYU Library

Girl #1: Well, you and she have the same taste in men.
Girl #2: Hmmm… That could be bad with y’all bein’ roommates and all.
Girl #3: Eh, not really, because she likes Long Island boys, and I find them repugnant.

–11th & University

Overheard by: eloise in heels

Queer #1: He’s hot. Wait, he’s hot, too. Fuck! Why is everyone I like so young?
Queer #2: ‘Cause you’re a pig?

–Jane St & 8th Ave

Overheard by: Paddy

Girl: Yeah, so me and Ronnie broke it off.
Guy: Really? Why?
Girl: Well, remember that girl, Nene? Yeah, she was like 14 or something, and he was fucking her.
Guy: And how old is he?
Girl: Twenty-one. You know what? I’m just done dating child molesters — been there, done that.

–R train, 57th St

Chick: One of my compatible matches looked like he must have been captain of his Dungeons and Dragons club back in school, and he said that he recently cut off his hair and donated it to Locks of Love, which is a nice thing to do, but then I had to imagine what he would look like with this horrible ponytail…
Guy: Like a music major ponytail, or, no– an AV Squad?
Chick: Yeah, exactly. So, needless to say, I deleted that match.
Dude with long hair, beret, beard, trench coat, and glasses standing nearby: I’m going home and changing my MySpace page right now.

–4 train

Overheard by: megwal