I Want to Be Loved for Who I Pretend to Be

Chick: One of my compatible matches looked like he must have been captain of his Dungeons and Dragons club back in school, and he said that he recently cut off his hair and donated it to Locks of Love, which is a nice thing to do, but then I had to imagine what he would look like with this horrible ponytail…
Guy: Like a music major ponytail, or, no– an AV Squad?
Chick: Yeah, exactly. So, needless to say, I deleted that match.
Dude with long hair, beret, beard, trench coat, and glasses standing nearby: I’m going home and changing my MySpace page right now.

–4 train

Overheard by: megwal

Posted on October 19, 2007
Friends, Hair, On the Subway, Pickiness

Gets All Her Metaphors from Lennie Briscoe

Chick #1: He was being all flirty and nice and asked me to meet him out dancing.
Chick #2: He is so cute. What did you say?
Chick #1: Hell no. He’s married. I heard that and ran like a hooker from the cops…

–A train

Overheard by: Jim W.

Posted on September 29, 2007
Girls, On the Subway, Pickiness

How Many?

Black girl #1: I feel like getting laid.
Black girl #2: You and me, both.
Black girl #1: I think I’m into white guys tonight!

–4 train, Union Square

Overheard by: newyork2boston

Posted on September 3, 2007
Black People, On the Subway, Pickiness

I Need to Get Me Some of That Time-Travel Pussy

Grocery stock boy #1: Man, I need to get me some foreign pussy. Out of town, out of state, out of country — shit, I just want to see what it’s like.
Grocery stock boy #2: Word.

–E 79th & York

Overheard by: PBT

Posted on June 12, 2007
Clerks, Pickiness, Upper East Side

Geez, Let’s Get You Drunk, Then

Girl: I want to fuck you when I’m drunk.
Guy: I just want to fuck you.
Girl: I just want you to be taller.

–Astoria Beer Garden

Posted on June 5, 2007
Astoria, Couples, Pickiness

Not Even the Worst Date He’s Had This Week

Annoying girl on first date: Now, I don’t wear a lot of jewelry, so my engagement ring will really have to be spectacular.
Dazed guy: [Silence.]Annoying girl: And I’ve decided that I’ve got to have a destination wedding.

–Seafood restaurant, 77th & 3rd

Posted on May 10, 2007
Bimbettes, Dating, Pickiness

Probably Quite a Story behind That Observation

Dude #1: My girlfriend is allergic to gluten.
Dude #2: Having a girlfriend with a food allergy is worse than having a girlfriend with a dick!

–11th St & Ave B

Posted on April 30, 2007
Boyfriends, Dating, Guys, Pickiness, Union Square and East Village

I Can Afford to Be

Chick #1: I don’t want to hook up with her again.
Chick #2: Why?
Chick #1: I don’t like her eyebrows. They’re too bushy. Is that bad? I’m picky.

–Duane Reade

Overheard by: Justin

Posted on March 22, 2007
Duane Reade, Girl-on-Girl, Pickiness

Guess Whose Girlfriend Is Pregnant

Man #1: What, you don’t like kids?
Man #2: Dude, I make it policy to never hang out with anyone under 20.
Man #1: Why?
Man #2: Teenagers are dangerous savages and anyone younger than that is just loud and expensive.

–V train, 53rd & Lex

Posted on March 19, 2007
Actors, On the Subway, Pickiness

Anything in the Middle of Nowhere Counts As ‘Down South’

Haitian worker #1: Yo, no offense, but that’s what I don’t like about black girls.
Haitian worker #2: Yeah…
Haitian worker #1: You gotta find yourself a good white girl. And not just one from, like, Baltimore, ’cause they mad ghetto. You gotta find a good white girl from, like, Indianapolis, You know, down South.

–Gray’s Papaya, Chelsea

Posted on February 19, 2007
Advice, Africans, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Coworkers, Hot dog stands, Pickiness, Relationships

Pickiness