Chick #1: He was being all flirty and nice and asked me to meet him out dancing.
Chick #2: He is so cute. What did you say?
Chick #1: Hell no. He’s married. I heard that and ran like a hooker from the cops…

–A train

Overheard by: Jim W.

Black girl #1: I feel like getting laid.
Black girl #2: You and me, both.
Black girl #1: I think I’m into white guys tonight!

–4 train, Union Square

Overheard by: newyork2boston

Grocery stock boy #1: Man, I need to get me some foreign pussy. Out of town, out of state, out of country — shit, I just want to see what it’s like.
Grocery stock boy #2: Word.

–E 79th & York

Overheard by: PBT

Girl: I want to fuck you when I’m drunk.
Guy: I just want to fuck you.
Girl: I just want you to be taller.

–Astoria Beer Garden

Annoying girl on first date: Now, I don’t wear a lot of jewelry, so my engagement ring will really have to be spectacular.
Dazed guy: [Silence.]Annoying girl: And I’ve decided that I’ve got to have a destination wedding.

–Seafood restaurant, 77th & 3rd

Dude #1: My girlfriend is allergic to gluten.
Dude #2: Having a girlfriend with a food allergy is worse than having a girlfriend with a dick!

–11th St & Ave B

Chick #1: I don’t want to hook up with her again.
Chick #2: Why?
Chick #1: I don’t like her eyebrows. They’re too bushy. Is that bad? I’m picky.

–Duane Reade

Overheard by: Justin

Man #1: What, you don’t like kids?
Man #2: Dude, I make it policy to never hang out with anyone under 20.
Man #1: Why?
Man #2: Teenagers are dangerous savages and anyone younger than that is just loud and expensive.

–V train, 53rd & Lex

Haitian worker #1: Yo, no offense, but that’s what I don’t like about black girls.
Haitian worker #2: Yeah…
Haitian worker #1: You gotta find yourself a good white girl. And not just one from, like, Baltimore, ’cause they mad ghetto. You gotta find a good white girl from, like, Indianapolis, You know, down South.

–Gray’s Papaya, Chelsea

Club dude: Yeah, but I don’t understand why she won’t talk to me.
Club dudette: Because she’s attractive and you’re ugly.
Club dude: Oh, yeah, okay, that makes sense.

–Meatpacking district

Overheard by: Harrison