Hipster #1: I mean, dude, one bar, two ex-girlfriends? That is totally uncool.
Hipster #2: Totally.
–Bohemian Hall & Beer Garden, Astoria
Overheard by: Ian Wheeler-Nicholson
Hipster #1: I mean, dude, one bar, two ex-girlfriends? That is totally uncool.
Hipster #2: Totally.
–Bohemian Hall & Beer Garden, Astoria
Overheard by: Ian Wheeler-Nicholson
Girl: Stop staring, pervert.
Guy: You ain’t all that hot.
Girl: I am not a hamburger! You can’t eat me!
–3 train
Overheard by: Jose
Player: Girl, your nose is like a Seinfeld episode.
–The Gate, Park Slope
A hobo sits with a HUNGRY JEW sign and begs: Lox, bagels, cream cheese? Lox, bagels, cream cheese?
–Broadway & 80th
Producer: Is Purim the holiday where they dress up? There was this little girl with an eyepatch and I was like, “Arr, you’re a pirate?” and her mom was like, “Actually, she had her eye put out.”
–27th street office
JAP on cell: I give up. I have been posting personal ads looking for “tall, dark and handsome” and all I ever end up with is “short, hairy, Jewish”. I guess I should just accept my fate.
–Starbucks, 48th & 3rd
Black guy: I ain’t Jewish, so I don’t be doin’ no Yom Kippur.
–D train
Overheard by: Nash Astor
Chick: I don’t get Spanish guys. They compliment you every time you pass them. They always say things like, “You have beautiful legs, in my country it is an honor for a woman to be told she has beautiful legs”. Well, you’re in NY now, honey, and I’m a bitch!
–5th Ave. & 82nd St.
Player: Excuse me miss, you’re even better looking than J. Lo. Can I have your autograph?
–Fulton Street mall
Hobo: Hey, you a pretty lady. You married?…I got food stamps!
–Astoria
Overheard by: mj
