Pudgy guy: I got her number.
Female friend: Oh, you did?! Wow, you must have been charming.
Pudgy guy: I know!
Female friend: I wouldn’t give you my number.
Pudgy guy: Oh, I know… The alcohol helped.
–89th & 3rd
Pudgy guy: I got her number.
Female friend: Oh, you did?! Wow, you must have been charming.
Pudgy guy: I know!
Female friend: I wouldn’t give you my number.
Pudgy guy: Oh, I know… The alcohol helped.
–89th & 3rd
Ladies’ man: I can’t understand it. First it was Armenians, now it’s redheads. It’s this incredible power I can’t control.
Friend: I know, dude. You’re a lucky pimp.
–NYU Silver Center
Overheard by: Abram
Traveling stud: I met this girl while I was vacationing with my wife and kids, so I took her back to my room.
Friend: Why didn’t you go to her room?
Traveling stud: She was traveling with her parents.
Friend: That’s so awesome!
–Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: Erin
Drunk girl: The other thing you should know about me is I have a raw fucking pussy.
Drunk guy, holding her hand: Yeah? Good.
–St. Mark’s & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: Bex
Dude #1: So, why did you break up with her?
Dude #2: Because she got herpes.
Dude #1: What?! You gave it to her!
Dude #2: Yeah, I know, but it’s different — herpes is gross with girls. It’s like a battle wound for guys, though.
–Slipper Room
Actor #1: It wasn’t like sex vagina, it was more like–
Actor #2: –There’s more than one kind?
–Epiphany
Guy #1: So, which one is it? Which one — the one night stand one?
Guy #2: Yeah, the one night stand.
Guy #1: The one night stand is pregnant? What about the one after?
Guy #2: No, the one after isn’t pregnant… yet… I don’t think…
–1 train
Teen boy #1: Would you do Jane?
Teen boy #2: Well, she’s pretty hot… Got nice tits and all, but don’t you consider diabetes a turn-off?
Teen boy #1: Yeah, dude, totally.
–Metro-North, 125th St stop
Overheard by: Ek CrIsp
Ladies’ man #1: So just bang her out, then.
Ladies’ man #2: After what she did to me, I don’t think I can just give that to her.
Ladies’ man #1: The man always has the upper hand — you should just bang her out and then call her the next day and be like, ‘Hey, do you have any cute friends you could hook me up with?’ You know, make her feel like shit.
–Uptown A train
Overheard by: JD
Guy #1: Yo, you know that girl Maria?
Guy #2: Which one, the one with the fucked-up eyes or the one with the fucked-up hair?
Guy #1: The one with the fucked-up bug eye.
Guy #2: What about her? Did you fuck her?
Guy #1: That’s right, I fucked her. Boom, boom!
–Uptown 6 train
