Wednesday One-Liners Are Out the Door Before the Condom Comes Off

Building worker on cell: Like her? No, I don’t like her. I have to like every girl that I bone? Terrible? Why is that terrible?

–52nd St & 6th Ave

Overheard by: blatto

Guy on cell: I’m looking for someone to, excuse my language, fuck, not just have sex with.

–Manhattan Ave

Overheard by: Jason

Eurotrash: So then I felt bad because he couldn’t guess who I was and so I gave him a hint. I told him I would meet him at six o’clock at the motel, because you know, that was like our place!

–34th St & 5th Ave

Guy: You sleep with them once and they expect you to bring your toothbrush and loofa over the next time.

–Tad’s Montana

Overheard by: Mishen

Girl on cell: Remember how I was talking to that guy in London? Well, he’s coming to visit for five days. Yeah, it’s gonna be fun. I’ve decided, after he leaves, I’m not going to talk to him anymore. What’s the point? It’s not even a relationship, it’s a pseudo-relationship. You fight and get mad and what for? I’m not moving to London, he’s not moving to New York. Yeah, so we’ll have fun, and then when he leaves, I just won’t talk to him anymore. How is that shady?

–N train, Astoria

Overheard by: MissPinkKate

Girl: Yeah, I feel like I’m bangin’ the whole world!

–Columbus Circle subway exit

Posted on January 14, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Blue-collar workers, Booty Call, Eurotrash, Hook Ups, Hootchies, On Cell, One Night Stand, Players, Promiscuity, Wednesday One-Liners

Zen and the Art of Debauchery

Hipster guy: Ever fuck a black chick?
Buddy: I don’t get involved enough with the chicks I fuck to learn details like that.

–Court & Joralemon St, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Big Larry

Posted on January 5, 2015
Brooklyn, Comebacks, Friends, Guys, Hipsters, Players, Questions, Race, Sex

Wednesday One-liners Up the Wazoo

Queer: It was, like, 8:30 in the morning and my colon called and said it needed a filling.

–Christopher Street Pier

Overheard by: Fourth Axiom

Posted on December 2, 2014
All Wednesday One-Liners, Backdoor, Body Parts, One-liners, Players, Promiscuity, Queer guys, Sexuality, West Village

Dude, Your Pimp Hand is Mad Weak

Crying woman: You fucked her and then you fucked me.
Man: But baby, I knew it was wrong at the time!

–Central Park South

Overheard by: Lily

Posted on September 2, 2014
Central Park, Depressed, Infidelity, Players

The Worst Pick-up Line Ever

Wannabe Player: It is a pleasure to have the honor of being in your company.

–Halloween Party, Greenwich Village

Posted on July 26, 2014
Compliments, Etiquette, One-liners, Pick-up Lines, Players, The Village, Words

Boobs Are Boobs

Guy #1: I talked to the redhead girl.
Guy #2: No, I said to talk to the red sweater girl.
Guy #1: Oh, I thought you said the redhead girl.
Guy #2: Well, what’d she say, anyway?

–The Dublin Harp, UWS

Overheard by: Travis York

Posted on July 8, 2014
Friends, Guys, Horny, Pick-up Lines, Players, Talking/Convos, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

Wednesday One-Liners Are Just Playin'

Guy to girl: The point of the game is to make the other person unwittingly look at your genitals.

–106th & Amsterdam

Ghetto kid to friend: If I was in the middle of sex, I would say I'll come back to you later, play in the poker game, and then come back and bust that nut.

–9th St & 8th Ave, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Rahstah

Worker to partner: You know what I'm going to do since I don't have to work tomorrow? I'm going to turn the volume on my laptop all the way up and play pinball until 1 am. It will be so loud! Ping ping ping ping!

–69th & Lexington

Overheard by: 6th Floor Blogger

Hipster girl on cell: I'm going home to eat and relax first, and then I'll be over to play Tropical Barbie bingo.

–Lorimer/Metropolitan, Brooklyn

Group of little girls to little boy: Wanna play Mormon family with us?

–Brooklyn Botanic Garden

Overheard by: James

Posted on August 13, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Coworkers, Girls, Guys, Hipsters, Kids, Laptop, Offers and requests, On Cell, Players, Private Parts, Questions, Religion, Sex, Upper East Side, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Video Games, Weirdness

It Once Was Lost, but Now Is Found

Euchre partner #1: Dude! I saved your ass on that hand.
Euchre partner #2: Yes -and thank you for being Jesus for my anus.

–Euchre Club of Queens

Posted on July 4, 2008
Bars & Clubs, Body Parts, Default, Friends, Jesus, Players, Queens

This nigga on Overheard

Thug #1: We don’t even go to the movies or nothin’. She just comes over to smash it and then she leaves. She knows, too. She just comes over for some pipin’.
Thug #2: That’s where it’s at.
Thug #1: She got a 10-year-old li’l nigga, too. She knows not to ask for somethin’ serious. That li’l nigga in fifth grade! That nigga on MySpace!

–Houston & Suffolk

Overheard by: Rhymes With Lasagna

Headline by: ja

Runners-Up:
· “…And “To Catch A Predator”” – Stuck in the MidWest
· “He Comes Over for Some Pipin’ Too.” – Courtney
· “I Just Have to Wait for Her to Be in Eigth.” – Snark Sloper
· “That Li’l Nigga Gots Roast Beef and This Li’l Nigga Gots None.” – johnnyb
· “The Nucular Family” – Bill
· “The Waltons, 2007” – G’night, John Boy

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Posted on August 23, 2007
Age/Aging, Booty Call, Friends, Headline Contest Winners, Kids, Movies, Myspace, Players, Thugs, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

Players