Security guy: Where you from?
Tourist: Amsterdam.
Security guy, gesturing broadly to the view: This was once all yours!
–Empire State Building
Security guy: Where you from?
Tourist: Amsterdam.
Security guy, gesturing broadly to the view: This was once all yours!
–Empire State Building
TSA guard #1: You’re new here, right?
TSA guard #2: Yeah. I worked at the Gap before, so this is different.
–JFK
Security guard #1 rushing in: Where is the panic button?
Sales girl: I don’t even know what that is.
Security guard #1: It’s not under the counter? You don’t have a panic button? How can you not have a panic button?
Security guard #2: I think this is it. Here, on the wall behind you.
Security guard #1: Okay, okay. Okay, let’s press it and see if it works.
–Pierpont Morgan Museum Gift Shop
Overheard by: not-panicking
Airport security guard #1: Hey, I gotta get me a mongoose.
Airport security guard #2: Yeah, man. Gotta keep them cobras off them planes.
–JFK
Out-of-breath Star Wars fan: Hey, do you know where the 3 pm light saber fight will take place?
Bored security officer: I dunno, but it should be over there. That’s where all the weird Jedis are hanging out.
–Big Apple Comic Book Convention, Penn Plaza Pavilion
Overheard by: PoisonIvy
A guy and girl approach a sleeping David Blaine in his bubble.
Security guard: Hands of the glass, sir.
Guy: It’s okay, it’s okay…I just wanna talk to him.
Guy and girl, putting both hands on glass: WAKE UP DAVID BLAINE!
Security guard: Exit! Exit!
–Lincoln Center
Overheard by: Natasha Blank
Confused young man: So… this museum is mainly to do with art?
Bored guard: Yes.
Confused young man: Oh.
–Metropolitan Museum of Art, European Art Section
Dude: Excuse me, do you work here?
Security guy: Not really, but what do you need?
–Beacon Theatre, 74th & Broadway
