College kid: So, your mom still threw you in the bathtub when you were 12 years old?
Unfortunate friend: Yeah. But, I was, like, a hundred pounds back then!
College kid: But dude, like, sponge bath?
Unfortunate friend, incredulously: Yeah! Like all the normal bathtub shit!
–Washington Square Park
JAP #1: Well, call me on your phone.
JAP #2: What?!
JAP #1: Call me on your phone?
JAP #2: Oh. I thought you just said something in French or something.
JAP #1: I can’t speak French!
–Washington Square Park
Dude: So you’re upset?
Chick: No, not any more. He just said something about Azerbaijan and I got sort of temporarily angry.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Abram
Lady suit: Man, I love cheese. You know what I wish I had? A pillow made of cheese. That way I can eat cheese when I’m awake and when I sleep. I can, like, chew on my pillow and I’ll truly be eating cheese 24/7. Wouldn’t that be amazing?
Male suit: Mmm, yes.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: drew roddy
Little boy: Hey, can I pet your dog?
Man with puppy: You got a dollar?
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Emily
Girl: I think that dog is staring at me…
Guy: Don’t flatter yourself.
–Washington Square dog park
Overheard by: Dog and people watcher
NYU girl #1, during fire alarm: Whoa, look! There’s an elevator. Maybe it’s going to dump water on the building to put out the fire.
NYU girl #2: Wait… What?
NYU girl #1: Did I say elevator? I meant helicopter. Whatever.
–Washington Square Park
Biotech #1: I hate fat people.
Biotech #2: Yeah, me, too. They should put them all in a concentration camp.
–Astor Pl & Broadway
Overheard by: Daniel
NYU guy proposing Mary Poppins as a Rocky Horror-style sing-along: It’d probably be fun to get drunk and go to one of those.
NYU girl: I don’t know…
NYU guy: Well, that’s what my oboe teacher said.
–Washington Square
Overheard by: fifi
Black lady: I really want you guys to meet my new boyfriend. I think you’ll like him.
White lady: Okaaay. Um… How is he with white people?
–St. Mark’s Pl & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: JD
