Guy #1: Dude, if you google “bunny porn” it will probably show up.
Guy #2: Good call.
–NYU’s Hayden Hall
Guy #1: Dude, if you google “bunny porn” it will probably show up.
Guy #2: Good call.
–NYU’s Hayden Hall
Mid-20s girl: I never date a guy who gets more than three questions wrong on the SATs. I don’t plan it, it just works out that way.
–23rd & 8th
Overheard by: Limey
Hipster on cell: I went through this time when I was like, ‘I could have 800 girlfriends at the same time and just not tell them about each other.’ That was much easier…
–Bedford Ave, Williamsburg
Guy pointing to nothing in particular on the sidewalk: Uh, dude, you dropped your girlfriend.
–Times Square
Overheard by: christine
Muslim woman in full abaya, dragging husband along: Right now I need to focus on my needs. Do you hear me? This is about my needs!
–Atlantic Ave, in front of Brooklyn Heights YMCA
Man to woman on the sidewalk: Well, we had our one, but it wasn’t so much a fight as it was a mini-series.
–12th, between 6th & 5th
Overheard by: Karen
Girl: My asshole boyfriend! I was just staying with him until Valentine’s Day so that I could get a present, and tomorrow he’s history! But then I didn’t even get that!
–NYU Silver Center
Black security guard: Hello, and welcome to Urban Outfitters. Break it down, break it down, break it down, break it down, break it down…
–Urban Outfitters, 6th Ave
Security guy to woman whose bag is in the machine: Lady, there is something Batman-shaped in your bag. Do you have Batman in your bag? Are you aware that you are not allowed to take American heroes out of the country?
–LaGuardia
Overheard by: Susan
Big security guard: Put your IDs in the air! … And wave ’em around like you just don’t care!
–NYU SIlver Building
Security guard, into walkie talkie: Ice, get your balls out of your wife’s purse, and kick that guy out!
–Music Hall of Williamsburg, Jonathan Richman concert
Overheard by: j-bones
Asian girl helping blonde with Japanese assignment: Okay, now tell me about something you would eat.
Blonde: Uhhh… Watashiwa inu o tabemasu…
Asian, exasperated: You don’t eat dogs!
Blonde: Well, in Japan you do!
–Outside University Restaurant, University Place
Thug to friends: Yo, it’s not like I’m gay! Just… the kid had some nice hair!
–Ave M, Q train stop
Overheard by: LoRna
Teen boy: Yo, near the pubic hair, son… That shit is phat!
–Southern Blvd, Bronx
Overheard by: E.J.
Seven-year-old blonde to friend: … And if you get it in your hair, you lose all your points!
–Washington Square West
Overheard by: SELENA
Asian 30-something on cell: Well, he doesn’t have any hair, so he better be good-looking.
–13th & 6th
Chick on cell: Masochistic hair to go with a masochistic gal. Aw!
–Columbia University
Overheard by: McFreaky
Subway performer, finishing barbershop-quartet style song: We’d like to wish you all a beautiful afternoon. If any of you happen to run into Condoleezza Rice, please tell her we’ve got a sista in Harlem waitin’ to do her hair.
–R train
Overheard by: Marisa
Girl: I’ll drink for charity. I mean, I’m gonna be drinking anyway, so sure.
–Spring & Lafayette
Overheard by: Thomas
Chick in Santa suit, on cell: How’s it going? Santa’s sobering up.
–Harlem
Overheard by: Ladle
Hobo to pigeon walking toward his booze: Get away from that, you alcoholic bitch!
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Shanaca
Girl to friend: I’m not drunk, I just like the way it feels on my skin!
–2nd St & Ave B
Chick on cell: … So you were like, ‘I should become an alcoholic.’
–Mulberry & Spring
Grad student, slowly: I followed you down the bedrunkenation path.
–International Affairs building, Columbia University
Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy
Girl: My friend wants to get a wheelchair and put a keg on it. He wants to call it ‘handi-tapped.’
–St. Mark’s Pl, between 1st & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: Mariah
Pre-teen girl on bike #1: Why don’t we go into that building and wait, and then go around the circle and get in trouble again?
Pre-teen girl on bike #2: Okay.
–Washington Square Park
Blonde: You’re seeing your astrologist tomorrow?
Tattooed girl: Yeah, my pussy’s been tingling lately, and I need to find out why.
–Washington Square
Little girl, about hobo wrestling with a bush: Mommy, why is he doing that?
Mother: I don’t know, honey.
Little girl: Maybe he’s the gardener!
Mother: Maybe! Or maybe he’s just fucking crazy.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: tj
Girl shouting to band members unbuttoning their shirts: Take it off!
Guy in denim vest without shirt, opening vest wide: You want me to take it off?!
Girl, to man: No! Not you! You leave it on!
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Liz Erd
