Obnoxiously loud girl: So I was at this party and this really drunk girl was like: “Oh my god, pierce my nipples!” and this guy did and I watched the whole thing.
Her friend: Really?
Obnoxiously loud girl: Yeah! But I was expecting blood, don’t you think there’d be blood?
–Starbucks, Washington Square
Nyu girl: Oh, look at that squirrel! It’s all black!
Nyu boy: It’s a squigger.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Squacist
Headline by: Tim
Runners-Up:
· “400 Years Of Oppression Pending” – Mistress Squidia
· “Actually, I Think Those Are Called “Rats”” – Jen
· “And I Fount It Weird It Was Carrying a Water Melon and Chicken Nuggets.” – Waleed
· “And It Is Still Waiting For 40 Acres and a Mule!” – gab pezo
· “This Used to Be a Decent, Gray-Squirrel Neighborhood.” – KJM
· “You Can Tell From the Tiny, Tiny Bling.” – Mollena’s Blog” target=”_blank”>Mollena Williams
Eight-year-old boy to another: You usta play dirty house with her!
–E 9th St & Ave A
Overheard by: Fred Daubert
Visibly annoyed ghetto-fab young lady, while loudly cracking her gum: They too many nationalities on this bus and most of them don’t be clean.
–57th St Bus
Overheard by: tinyfoo
Chick, looking at rat sipping from puddle: Eeeww, how can he drink that? It’s so dirty!
–6 Platform, Grand Central
Guy on escalator, to friend: … Dirty sandwich…
–E Train
Overheard by: M_C
Male student: Either you’re a dirty, stinking hippie, or you’re pretentious.
–Bard High School Early College Library
Thuggish hobo: Please! Somebody talk dirty to me!
–Washington Square Park
Girl #1: Oh my god, did I tell you? Alex called me yesterday! And it wasn’t 6 am for once, it was 3 pm!
Girl #2: That’s great!
Girl #1: I know. He was like [low voice] “heeeeeeey” and I was like [high voice] “heeeeey!” and it was amazing. Well, not really. But it was so great.
–Starbucks, Washington Square
Hot chick dragging male companion: But you’ll like it this time, you were drunk yesterday…
–19th & 8th
Disheveled homeless woman: Fuck that shit! I’m looking for a real drunk!
–42nd & 9th
Overheard by: Mike
Man on bike, swerving down street: Look out, get out of the way! Drunk driver coming through!
–Washington Square East and Washington Place
Overheard by: Out of the way!
Appreciative preppy girl: Even though he’s a thug and a drunk, he’s a real intellectual.
–Art Fair at the Armory
Overheard by: Gina Beavers
Drunk guy about to chug: This reminds me of middle school. Got to get the 40 down before second period!
–Stan’s, Bronx
Young woman on cell: No, I do not need to get drunk more often, stop saying that mom!
–Union Square
Overheard by: McCrum
Guy #1: Hey, new laptop?
Guy #2: Yeah, mine died over the weekend so I picked it up. It’s pretty slick, and check this out: two headphone jacks.
Guy #1: Wow, that is pretty cool.
Guy #2: Yeah, now all I need is a girlfriend…
–NYU, Warren Weaver Hall
Girl: What do you mean, you like her? Like, you-want-to-bone-her like-her?
Guy: Could you please not say that!?
–NYU Kimmel Student Center
Overheard by: A. Haven
Flamboyant black guy #1: That’s what I love about being gay. All these bitches be loving on me so I get them to do my homework.
Flamboyant black guy #2: True.
–Washington Square North
Guy with thick New York accent: Come on, let’s go.
[Dog lies down on back.]Guy: Don’t do that Mahatma Gandhi shit!
–Washington Square Dog Run
Overheard by: KidUgly
Girl, to boyfriend: And that’s why you can never trust the emotions or actions of someone whose star sign is ruled by mars.
–20th & 7th
Overheard by: ALR
Barista to waiter: I don’t mind that I spent $130 on a pair of Oakleys cause I can look at the sun for a while and it won’t hurt my eyes.
–Long Island Railroad
Overheard by: Chris K.
Baby boomer hippie to college student: Dude, I just got me some of that Afghani shit. Took me to the mooooooon and back, baby!
–Washington Square
Overheard by: Summer
Doonesbury looking dude: Imagine what life would be like without the sun.
–40th & Park Ave
Overheard by: Ledbetter
Girl, being shaken awake by friend: But Rachel, where are you going to put the black hole?
–A Train
Bum on street, to several protesters passing by in pure white bio-hazard suits: Aw… You people wait right there, I’m a run and get some cigarettes then I’m comin’ to the moon with ya’ll. Seriously… Wait.
–45 & 7th Ave
Overheard by: Comack
