Wednesday One-liners

Russian lady: She loves to travel. Like some people alcoholics? She
loves to travel.

–Funayama, Greenwich Avenue

Guy on cell: Hey Maria? It’s John…from Biology…Oh, you can’t talk? OK. I love you. Bye.

–Washington Square Park

Euro chick: No silly, American football is like a girly version of rugby, they have rules and pads.

–66th & Lexington

Man: Look at all these little bananas! I don’t want none a these. These little bananas are for ladies.

–28th & Park fruit stand

Woman: You think that the players look at their butts in the mirror to see what we see?

–Yankee Stadium bleachers

Overheard by: Aryeh Jasper

Posted on May 14, 2018
All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Drinking & Drunk People, Food, Foreigners, Love, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Names, On Cell, One-liners, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, School and studying, Sports, The Village, Travel, Upper East Side, Washington Square Park, Yankee Stadium

Wednesday One-Liners Better Not End Up on the Internet

30-something on cell: Mom, he came over and took a picture of my toilet!

–Spring & Greene

20-something chick: First of all, who poses bare-ass naked on a car in a Wal-Mart parking lot? Secondly, who bleaches their asshole? Third, who takes a picture of it and e-mails it to all their friends?!

–113th, between Broadway & Amsterdam

Overheard by: Ladle

Queer: He photographs really poorly. That’s a big problem for me…

–Starbucks, Washington Square

Overheard by: jess

Woman to friend: You know, just because I work with her doesn’t mean I have to look at photos of her placenta.

–34th & 3rd

Overheard by: X. L. Percy

Posted on April 27, 2018
Asshole, Body Parts, Default, Friends, Girls, Internet, Jobs & Careers, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Nudity, On Cell, Pictures, Porn, Queer guys, Questions, Soho, Starbucks, Street, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Washington Square Park, Weirdness, Women

Wednesday One-Liners Don’t Understand the Caucus System

Bleach-blonde: I would totally vote for McCain if Miley Cyrus were his running mate.

–Columbia University

Overheard by: Democrat

Woman: Oh, I am definitely a single-issue voter. And right now, that issue is: Which one of the candidates can get me to a bathroom soonest?

–7th Avenue, Park Slope

Overheard by: Chuckell

Drunk hobo to a group of pigeons: And they’re all Democrats. Can’t trust them Democrats.

–Washington Square Park

Young African American woman speaking animatedly on cell: … Vice president? Why should I run for Vice President, I’m doing better than you, bitch! "Dream ticket!" That’s why I hate white liberals. They don’t know when they’re fucked up. Republicans don’t give a shit about you, but they know it.

–124th St, Harlem

Drunk wheelbo, shouting across the entire ferry terminal: Hillary, Hillary, she’s our man! If she can’t do it, no one can!

–Whitehall Ferry Terminal

Lady on cell: When you done turn Governor, you can’t play dat shit…

–Associated Supermarket, Myrtle Ave, Brooklyn

Overheard by: PdQ

Posted on February 4, 2018
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Black People, Brooklyn, Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Compare/Contrast, Crazies, Drunks, Ferry, Girls, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Hobos, Insults, Lower Manhattan, Offers and requests, On Cell, Park Slope, Parks, Politics, President, Questions, Store, Street, Threats, Washington Square Park, Wheelbos, Women

I'm Starting to Care That the Girl Has an Orgasm

Girl #1: So wait… You have trouble orgasming?
Girl #2: Yes! It's like impossible for me to come through sex alone.
Girl #1: But fingering and oral works?
Girl #2: Well, yeah.
Girl #1 to guy friend: How ya hanging in there, Matt?
Matt: I need to start hanging out with more guys.

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Bruce Lee

Posted on November 14, 2017
Friends, Gender issues, Girls, Guys, Hand-Jobs, Licking, Orgasm, Questions, Sex, Washington Square Park

He’s Tricky with That Reverse Psychology

Hobo: How are you doin’? Do you need some money? You need a dollar or two?
Woman: No thanks, I’m okay.
Hobo: Okay, god bless you.

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Lisa

Posted on October 26, 2017
Hobos, Homeless, Money & Class, Psychology, Washington Square Park

Wednesday XXX-liners

Man on cell: Yeah, I got girls who can do that…That too. You just call me back in an hour, I’ll be at the house…I know you make high-quality adult productions, you’re the kind of man I want to be working with…No, the girls talk through me…I got this one girl, very high quality, based in Oregon, she was in Las Vegas last week, she’ll do whatever you ask…

–Washington Square Park