Wednesday One-Liners Will Bring the Keg

Black tween girl: So, Jared was like, ‘What? You want a pizza party?’ and I said, ‘No, I want a party that I can pop, lock, and drop in.’ And then she goes, ‘Girl, I can pop and lock, but if I drop, I’ll drop.

–59th & Lex N/R/W stop

Overheard by: koala

Drunk guy on cell: What? Yeah, it’s always a great party… Hmmm… Let me think of who I have to sleep with to get you an invite…

–34th & 3rd

20-ish chick: I was telling the girls about how his cock unfurls like one of those party blowers, and then they happened to have those blowers at the New Year’s Eve party we went to, so I tormented them with one all night.

–Columbia University

Overheard by: McFreaky

Late-30s guy: I’m the kind of guy who goes to parties and brags about my perky corneas.

–House party, S 8th St, Williamsburg

Overheard by: Ursula & Winifred

Guy on cell: Well, the funeral was Tuesday… Yeah, the party was that night.

–10th & 2nd

Overheard by: Suzz

Barbie type to tourist pals: It sucks — you guys are like two weeks late to party with Heath Ledger.

–2nd Ave, between E 6th & E 7th St

Overheard by: Ben