Airports & flights

Little girl: (talking over airport announcement)
Father: Quiet for a second!
Girl: (continues talking until announcement is over)
Father: Great. What if he was saying “Run! Zombies!”? We'll be sitting here like idiots while the zombies come…

O'Hare Airport
Chicago, Illinois

Man, pulling out salad on airplane: Now I can get back to what really matters. Chicken.

Flight over Ft. Lauderdale, Florida

Overheard by: Nic

Suit on cell: I just landed in Maine. I mean San Diego. What am I thinking?

San Francisco, California

Overheard by: weary traveler

Stewardess: Wave hi to my ex-husband and his new wife as they pass by.

Southwest Airlines Flight
Houston to New Orleans

Overheard by: Passenger A 44

Captain on intercom: Ladies and gentlemen, just wanted to let you know the reason this flight was delayed. The plane collided with a bird upon landing. It's no big deal; it just hit a body part. The bird is okay.

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Ladle (who is skeptical about the well-being of the bird)

Guy on cell: You realize it is old people's only duty to die to get out of the way right?

International Airport
Louisville, Kentucky

Male flight attendant: This will be a miserable flight. It’ll be really turbulent and then we’ll end up in New Jersey.

Flight into Newark Airport

Four-year-old boy: Daddy! I wanna get hammered!
(mom pulls out a toy rubber hammer, sighing)
Dad, to everyone around: Shhhhh, nobody heard that! If you did, little forgetfulness fairies will fly into your mind!

Phoenix, Arizona

Little boy, as plane starts its descent: Oh my god! What are going to do? We are going to get stuck in the clouds! Please! Somebody help us! Help!


Passenger #1 looking at map on screen: Oh, look — we’re over Montana right now.
Passenger #2: Montana’s in Canada! Cool!

Over Montana, British Airways flight

Overheard by: Confused Flyer