Girl counting her money: Excuse me, ma’am — are there four quarters in a dollar?
Older lady: Yes, my dear.
Girl: Oh, great! Thanks!
–Times Square station
Girl counting her money: Excuse me, ma’am — are there four quarters in a dollar?
Older lady: Yes, my dear.
Girl: Oh, great! Thanks!
–Times Square station
Bimbette #1: Do you have sucking candy?
Bimbette #2: No, but I have gum.
Bimbette #1: I don’t want gum — I don’t want to chew and use my brain.
–LIRR
Overheard by: pbq
Bimbette, about little boy in wheelchair: Aw, look at him! He’s got a little hand puppet!
Friend: Actually, that’s a cast.
–Lafayette & East Houston
Overheard by: Kim & Clerr
Chick on cell: How long will it be for a cab to Forest Hills?
Deadpan dispatcher: About 15 minutes.
Chick on cell: Ohhh… How long will it be if I call back in half an hour?
Deadpan dispatcher: I can’t predict the future, ma’am.
–Kew Gardens, Queens
Overheard by: Stephanie
LI girl: Tiffany, we need new expressions!
Tiffany: What?
LI girl: Like, new phrases to say in response to stuff.
Tiffany: Oh. Okay, we’ll make some up.
–Billy’s Bakery
Chick #1: Where the fuck is Seattle?
Chick #2: Oregon.
–55th & 3rd
Overheard by: Meghan
Effeminate thug: Look at all the couples around us! They’re happy! Why can’t we be like that?!
Bimbette: I’m happy!
Effeminate thug: Well, I’m not. I don’t understand why you have to keep lying to me and acting like it’s all a joke.
Bimbette: Because I’m happy!
Effeminate thug: That’s it, I’m leaving.
Bimbette: Want a blowjob?
Effeminate thug: … Okay.
–R train
Overheard by: Yvo
Brunette: I usually sit in front of him, but he got to class late the day we had the midterm and the only seat left was in front of me… And then I didn’t know how to do any of the problems, so I just stared at him and daydreamed about playing with his balls and batting my eyelashes while giving him a blowjob.
Blonde: I strongly advise against mentioning that if you ever actually speak to him.
–Salon V, East Village
Overheard by: raconteuse
Girl: Well, we have a lot in common.
Skeptical friend: Really?
Girl: Yeah! Well, we were both in comas…
–Hunter College
Annoyed bimbette: You cannot go out with him! Like, who will go and pick up random guys with me?
Brunette: I’ll still go out with you.
Annoyed bimbette: No, I know you — you’ll say ‘yes’ when he asks you out. You can’t go out with him. Oh, yeah, wait — he’s younger than you. You can get him pussy-whipped like that. You have to go out with him.
Brunette, defeated: Okay.
–S79 bus
