Guy: You should really take her to the hospital.
Woman with coughing, sweating, crying child: You wanna do somethin’? Why don’t you get off yo’ ass and take her temperature?! [To child] If you end up in the hospital, I’m gonna make sure you stay in the hospital!
–1 train
Inmates in NYPD corrections bus: Give me a kiss, baby! Come on, I need it! Hey, nice toenails, sweetheart!
Girl passerby, to friend: Well, I did just paint them last night.
–Chinatown
Man: I bet you’re hot to trot to get back to school
Girl: No, not really. My dad will be driving me.
–Rolling Hills Park, Staten Island
Girl counting her money: Excuse me, ma’am — are there four quarters in a dollar?
Older lady: Yes, my dear.
Girl: Oh, great! Thanks!
–Times Square station
Bimbette #1: Do you have sucking candy?
Bimbette #2: No, but I have gum.
Bimbette #1: I don’t want gum — I don’t want to chew and use my brain.
–LIRR
Overheard by: pbq
Bimbette, about little boy in wheelchair: Aw, look at him! He’s got a little hand puppet!
Friend: Actually, that’s a cast.
–Lafayette & East Houston
Overheard by: Kim & Clerr
Chick on cell: How long will it be for a cab to Forest Hills?
Deadpan dispatcher: About 15 minutes.
Chick on cell: Ohhh… How long will it be if I call back in half an hour?
Deadpan dispatcher: I can’t predict the future, ma’am.
–Kew Gardens, Queens
Overheard by: Stephanie
LI girl: Tiffany, we need new expressions!
Tiffany: What?
LI girl: Like, new phrases to say in response to stuff.
Tiffany: Oh. Okay, we’ll make some up.
–Billy’s Bakery
Chick #1: Where the fuck is Seattle?
Chick #2: Oregon.
–55th & 3rd
Overheard by: Meghan
Effeminate thug: Look at all the couples around us! They’re happy! Why can’t we be like that?!
Bimbette: I’m happy!
Effeminate thug: Well, I’m not. I don’t understand why you have to keep lying to me and acting like it’s all a joke.
Bimbette: Because I’m happy!
Effeminate thug: That’s it, I’m leaving.
Bimbette: Want a blowjob?
Effeminate thug: … Okay.
–R train
Overheard by: Yvo
