Dude: Thanks for showing me that in the computer program.
Chick: Sure! I like to give everyone a piece once in a while.
–Tunnel St, Chinatown
Dude: Thanks for showing me that in the computer program.
Chick: Sure! I like to give everyone a piece once in a while.
–Tunnel St, Chinatown
Barbershop quarter guy: Hey, she’s walking on the outside. That means she’s available. Tell that guy you’re with that walking on the outside means you’re available.
Guy: Um, she’s my sister.
–Spring & Wooster
Russian guy: You should introduce me to your sister.
Frat guy: Hell no, man.
Russian guy: I would introduce you to my sister.
Frat guy: Dude, what do you do in your country? Meet in neutral territory and swap family members?
–23rd & 10th
Overheard by: Mariclair Partee
Stoner dude #1: Which way is it?
Stoner dude #2: Hold on. Hold on! I need to grapple with the political implications of this pickle.
–Canal & Bowery
Hot hipster girl #1: Oh my god, that's a beautiful Buddhist temple!
Hot hipster girl #2: Umm no, that's a Chinese restaurant…
Hot hipster girl #1: Oh well, then it must be really authentic.
–Eldridge & Broome
Tourist chick: Of course he doesn’t speak English…at least until you piss on his floor.
–Chinatown
Chick #1: What’s wrong, sweetie?
Chick #2: Well, for the past few weeks I’ve had… [lowers voice] genital warts.
Chick #1: Oh my god, sweetie. I’m so sorry. [Goes to hug friend, then stops] Oh, wait. We probably shouldn’t touch.
–Knockoff purse stall, Chinatown
Overheard by: Kelly
Headline by: Mike Chmiel
Runners-Up:
· “Don’t worry – circle, circle, dot, dot takes care of everything” – Melissa
· “I probably shouldn’t be sleeping with your boyfriend either.” – Rachel
· “Or we could just not hug with our vaginas” – Matt
· “We also should avoid rubbing our genitals on the same doorknob” – Mdan
Drunk black girl: I get mad cheap shit in Chinatown. You can get shit for like ten cents. China knows what’s up.
Drunk black guy: Shit. But they are communist and shit.
Drunk black girl: Yeah, but the U.S. is a bunch of idiots. They’re like, "We are gonna make shit fuckin’ expensive," and China is like, "FUUUCK YOUUU. We are gonna sell shit for like one dollar, and all you stupid white bitches gonna buy it up. Fuuuck youuu."
–N train, 28th St
Train begins moving, but stops abruptly.
Crazy lady: Oh no. Uh-uh. Damn. [Sticks head out door] You people getting on or off? This silly shit’s gotta stop.
Concerned woman: A gentleman up there has just had a heart attack.
Crazy lady: I’m sure he did. Uh-huh. I’m sure that’s it. Always gotta be some bullshit.
–1 train, Canal St
Ghetto woman: Did you go on vacation this year?
Ghetto man: No.
Ghetto woman: Why didn't you go on vacation?
Ghetto man: I can't go on vacation, I can't even go to the Bronx.
–Canal St
Overheard by: Romany
Guy: So, are you becoming a nun or a ninja?
Girl: I’m becoming a nun… ja.
–Chinatown
Overheard by: Carene
