Dude #1: Dude, that girl is looking at you like a fat girl looks at cake.
Dude #2: She is a fat girl.
Dude #1: Fine. She is looking at you like you are cake.
–UES
Dude #1: Dude, that girl is looking at you like a fat girl looks at cake.
Dude #2: She is a fat girl.
Dude #1: Fine. She is looking at you like you are cake.
–UES
Skinny girl #1, reading magazine: Why are they showing Jessica Biel’s diet? She’s not even skinny.
Skinny girl #2: Seriously! They should show Nicole Richie’s diet: don’t eat.
–73rd & Columbus
Skinny girl: We should volunteer at an eating disorder clinic.
Friend: Yeah, that would be fun. And we’d be, like, helping people.
Skinny girl: But wait — if we volunteer there, what if we get influenced and change our beliefs about food and think that not being skinny is sexy?
Friend: No, that wouldn’t happen… It would be motivation, because you would think, ‘Wow, she’s skinner than me.’
–NYU Silver Center
Ana JAP #1: Do you have fat free ice cream?
Cashier: Uh, no.
Ana JAP #1: What about, like, sorbet?
Cashier: We have sugar-free sorbet.
Ana JAP #2: Can we try it? [Cashier gets three sample spoons.]Ana JAP #3: Oh my god, I can’t do this.
Jap #1: Yeah. Sorry, we’re not going to get anything.
Ana JAP #3: Yeah. Sorry.
Ana JAP #2: That was a moment of weakness!
Ana JAP #1: My god. I know! [To the cashier] Is there an Urban Outfitters around here?
–Ben & Jerry’s, 3rd Ave
Overheard by: How can I walk with this heavy cream on my ass?
Junior girl #1: I know! So many people are getting mono now — it’s ridiculous.
Junior girl #2: I know! Kaitlyn and I agreed that if one of us gets it, we’re giving it to the other.
Junior girl #1: Why?
Kaitlyn: Because you get sooo skinny when you get mono! It’s, like, the best way to lose weight!
Junior girl #1: Oh.
–Dining hall of private school
Hipster girl #1: I’ve never seen a fat midget.
Hipster girl #2: Oh, god, who would ever want to see a fat midget?! I’m sure they don’t exist.
–1st Ave, between 12th & 13th St
Overheard by: rpk
Skinny jerk: Yeah, so she’s about a buck ten now, five foot two.
Fat jerk: Oh, that’s great.
Skinny jerk: Yeah, but I had to beat it out of her.
Fat jerk: [Stares.]Skinny jerk: How much do you weigh now?
–Dunkin’ Donuts, 14th & 6th
Overheard by: Shusha
Girl: I always get suspicious when I see hot, thin moms with fat little daughters, because you know they’re making them fat so that they don’t turn out hotter than them.
Guy: What?
Girl: I’m serious, I’ve seen it happen! You know that’s what Christine’s mom did to her.
–E train
Overheard by: Dness
Ice cream vendor: Why don’t you go for it? You are eating for two!
Woman: I am not eating for two.
–Union Square Farmer’s Market
Overheard by: Brownsvillegirl
College guy #1: So I was hooking up with her–
College guy #2: –Dude, she’s kinda…
College guy #1: She’s not that fat! She’s average! I mean, she doesn’t outweigh me or anything.
College guy #2: Dude, if you have to convince yourself that she’s not fat, she’s too fat.
–American Eagle, Union Square
