Sorostitute #1: Remember that freshman I hooked up with? He friended me on Facebook!
Sorostitute #2: Oh, that’s coo– Wait a minute. Isn’t that a little backwards?
Sorostitute #3: Uh, yeah. Here’s how that should have gone: you meet him, he friends you on Facebook, and then you let him fuck you in the ass.
–Wagner College
Guy in pink wig: So, have you heard from your friend Craig recently?
Go-go girl: No. I think he’s dead.
Guy in pink wig: He’s not dead. He has recent Facebook activity.
–1 train
Overheard by: nycdoll
JAP #1: When I grow up I want to be purple.
JAP #2: What? I’m putting that on Facebook!
JAP #1: Why? I was just talking to myself… Fuck, I was talking to myself.
–82nd & Lex
College guy #1: Okay, we need to go to the grocery store.
College guy #2: But that’s so boring! How am I going to update my Facebook status? Drew* is shopping for groceries? That is so lame!
College guy #1: Dude, you really can’t live your life based on an imagined Facebook profile status. It’s just not healthy.
–116th & Broadway
Teen girl #1: He broke up with me on Facebook!
Teen girl #2: Like, on your wall?
Teen girl #1: No, he just changed his status back to ‘Single’!
–Metro North terminal, Grand Central
Guy: I can’t stand these people who friend everybody in the class of 2010 on Facebook.
Girl: Ugh, I know. Some girl who does that told me my photos made her cry a little.
–Astor Place
Overheard by: Michelle
