Confused-sounding girl on cell: I could fit an orange in my vagina?

Leamington Spa

Overheard by: Bleep

Skateboarder in large banana suit: We put the ‘ass’ in ‘potassium’!

Ohio State University

Grandmother: This salad is just wonderful.
20-ish chick: Yes, but it has raisins in it. I don’t eat raisins.
Grandmother: What? Why?
20-ish chick: I’ve always felt bad for them. They once were so full of life, and then the sun sucked their souls out and left… this.

Overheard by: sistersaywhat

Mom holding two tomatoes stuck together: Look, tomato twins!
Daughter: Oh my god! I love them!
Mom: They look like balls! [Laughs] Boy balls! [Walks away].
Daughter: Oh my god.

Columbia, Missouri

Overheard by: Kelsey

Tutor: So what are some things you associate with lemons?
Student #1: Yellow!
Student #2: Energy!
Student #3: Gin-an-tonic!
Tutor: What? Genitalia? Who said genitalia?

Massey University
New Zealand

Fratty-looking queer #1: I need some lip balm. My lips feel all dried up, like…old fruit.
Fratty looking queer #2: You are an old fruit. (pause) No, really, you're 25, which means you're almost 30, which means you're almost dead.

Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: gymbo

Female college student eating grapes: Look, it's a baby grape. And this one is like a grape fetus.
Roommate: What? Are there flavored fetuses?

Portland, Oregon

Overheard by: Larissa

Pre-cal teacher to apathetic senior students: Now we're getting into the fun stuff–exponential growth of fruit flies!

Prattville, Alabama

Overheard by: Lindsey

Brazilian tourist chick: Everyone here really likes turnips!

Liverpool Street

Overheard by: Yoshi

Little girl in cart: Cheetos! That's my favorite snack!
Mom: No! Fruit is your favorite snack, remember?

Flemmington, New Jersey