Hippie guy: I suggest you stop picking up small animals and fruit skins. It’s not good for you.

Eugene, Oregon

Mid-20s girl: So, I’ve been a vegetarian for about six years now and I’m trying to phase out all animal products.
Mid-40s woman: Oh, I could never be a vegetarian, I’d die. I like my potatoes too much.
Mid-20s girl: Umm… Potatoes are vegetables.
Mid-40s woman: Yeah, I guess you’re right. But I mean like peas and stuff.

Kokomo, Indiana

Overheard by: Justin

40-something pant suit lady #1: I've been trying to cut back on my calories.
40-something pant suit lady #2: Well, you should try…
40-something pant suit lady #3, interrupting: You should try eating a lot of fruit.
40-something pant suit lady #1: Yeah, that sounds like a great idea, my friend told me about…
40-something pant suit lady #2, interrupting: No one ever listens to me! You're always ignoring what I'm saying, and I have a lot of good things to say. (turns to 20-something male at next table) You would listen to me wouldn't you?
20-something male, looking annoyed: No.

Norfolk, Virginia

Overheard by: Sweedie

Chick: So, first of all, I’m allergic to mango skin. So sticking one up my vagina just wouldn’t work.

Overheard by:

Lady at fruit stall: Well, it's her birthday… I'd better buy her a coconut!


Guy: I'm going to sneeze!
Girl, getting in his face: Think about bananas! Think about bananas! You won't sneeze.
Religion professor: Just like thinking about bananas won't get you pregnant…

Rock Island, Illinois

Overheard by: I like bananas….

Boyfriend, quietly to girlfriend: You put the lime in the coconut, and dunk your balls in.

Dupont Circle
Washington, DC

Girl #1, discussing her boobs: I have lemons! What do you have?
Girl #2: Shit, I have watermelons.
Girl #3, grabbing her own boobs: I have cantaloupes.
Girl #1: Why are you grabbing your cantaloupes?

Jersey City, New Jersey

Blonde girl: I like summer fruits… Like strawberries.
Guy: What about others?
Blonde girl: Only if it's puree, or used in a sexual nature.

Masters' Room
University of Auckland
New Zealand

Serious guy: There is no… fucking… applesauce!

Dining Hall
UC, Santa Cruz

Overheard by: Willing to bet there's no regular applesauce either