Son: I wasn’t talking about drinking champagne.
Mom: You don’t know anything. You make a toast with champagne, not 40s!
–Bushwick
Overheard by: Cait O’Connor
Headline by: Hobo Whisperer
Runners-Up:
· “Miss Manners Said So” – John
· “Not According to “Martha Stewart’s Bronx Living”, Mom” – Gabbertoons
· “Parenting on the Rocks?” – crystal
· “Shows What You Know About the Elite and Enviable Life Of the Fratboy.” – danielle
· “Spike Lee Fights the Power” – glenntronic
Dad: Let’s go to St. Patrick’s!
Kid: … Is that another bar?
–51st & 5th
Overheard by: Kelly
Eight-year-old girl #1 while shopping for costume: Oooh! We can be a flasher! Let’s be a flasher!
Eight-year-old girl #2: Yeah! A flasher!
Mom: No, you cannot be a flasher. You can’t go to school dressed as a flasher.
Teen son: But I can!
–Costume store, 11th & 4th
Overheard by: Big E
Mom: Remember, I am the mother and you are the child.
Son: Yes, little girl.
–Broadway
Overheard by: Ally
Teen daughter: I love the city. I can easily live here.
Mom: You don’t know anything about this city. Keep walking.
Teen daughter: Mom, I know enough. I drink Starbucks and loved Sex and the City.
–31st & 7th
Giant black man holding hands with tiny son: Yo, you only four years old — you dunno what’s up!
Tiny boy: I’m three!
Giant black man: See? You don’t even know how old you are!
–Morningside Heights
Overheard by: Hannah
Five-year-old girl: Uncle Joey, we need to move!
30-something uncle: Why? What’s the matter?
Five-year-old girl: There’s cops over there… We gotta move before you get arrested again… [Whispers] You’re still on probation, right?
–139th St, near 40th Precinct, Bronx
Overheard by: What are we teaching our kids?
White mom: Which kitty is your favorite?
Little girl holding book of baby animals: The black one!
Mom: The black one? He sure is a cute kitty.
Little girl, loudly: Once you go black, you never go back!
Passing thug, flashing her a thumbs-up: Word!
White mom: I don’t care what your father says, we are so moving to Westchester.
–Commodore Barry Park, Fort Greene, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Straightfaced, but barely
Dad: Where would you like to eat? There’s an Italian restaurant across the street. Or maybe pizza?
Little girl: Are you going to shut up, or do I have to smack you?
–85th & York
Overheard by: Eric
Mother: God, it’s cold.
Little boy #1: Let’s get alcohol!
Little boy #2: A whole bottle!
–80th & Broadway
