Girl #1: Isn’t this the bar we’re going to?
Girl #2: No, that place is called Barbacasue. We’re going to Valley something.
Girl #1: Where does it say that?
Girl #2: Right up there, on that sign.
Girl #1: That says “barbecue”, you asshole!
–27th & 5th
Overheard by: Krissimarie
Girl #1: When I got on the bus today, there was a needle on the seat next to me and I didn’t know what to do with it!
Girl #2: Yeah, there could have been syphilis on it or something…
Girl #1: Yeah, I was thinking more like AIDS, but sure.
–56th & 8th
Power walker guy: Do you have any brothers or sisters?
Power walker lady: Yeah, 27.
Power walker guy: How many?
Power walker lady: I am number 14 of 28 children.
–Central Park
Overheard by: jo mo packward
Guy #1: And I didn’t even go to first base with her. I wouldn’t give her the satisfaction.
Guy #2: Yeah. We were with the ugliest girls in the world that night.
–53rd & Lexington
Lady #1: I didn’t know what to do, so I took a used tissue out. But I
was so embarrassed.
Lady #2: It’s better than letting it drip on the table.
Lady #1: Yeah…
Lady #2: Sometimes the office gets so hot, people come in tank tops.
Lady #1: I know.
Lady #2: One time I went to a meeting and a drip of sweat fell from my head. I was mortified.
Lady #1: Oh my god.
Lady #2: Now I make sure I stand in an air-conditioned room for 15
minutes before going to a meeting. That was one of the most terrible days of my life.
–Speedy Deli, 32nd & Broadway
Overheard by: deckard
Dad: Do you know what a eunuch is?
Teen boy: Sure, it’s a place in Germany.
Dad: No, it is a man whose balls have been cut off.
Teen boy: In Germany?
–27th & 6th
Chick: So do you wear briefs or boxers?
Dude: You mean panties?
Chick: No, you know, briefs.
Dude: Boxers. I wear boxers. Adult males don’t wear panties. Panties are for girls.
Chick: Why you call ’em panties?
Dude: That’s what we call ’em in jail.
–Hudson & Charleton
Lady #1: Look at me. I’m taking Percocet and drinking red wine.
Lady #2: I think they call that a Napa Valley speedball.
–McCoy’s Bar, 9th Avenue
Overheard by: Katrina Olson
Vendor guy: Yo man, you 420 friendly? Here, here; here’s my card. Call me up.
Girl: Uh, yeah sure. Can I get my change?
Vendor guy: Oh, right, right. Sure.
Dude: Hey man, can I get $4 worth of weed?
Vendor guy: What? Man. What?
Dude: $4 of weed, man.
Vendor guy: What are you talking about, man? I don’t sell weed. What kind of man do you take me for? Buy $4 of weed. man. I’m offended. Especially in front of this beautiful girl. Asking for weed. Man, what’s yo problem?
–30th & 8th
Overheard by: Justine
Girl #1: Whatever, you never even let me put my feet on the furniture when I stay with you.
Girl #2: That is because your feet were covered with warts!
Girl #1: Warts that I caught from the Mother Wart that was on your foot!
–Central Park
