Cop, over cruiser speaker, to lethargic group of hipsters: Go ahead…walk.
(hipsters saunter across street)
Cop, still on speaker: Good job.

Davis Square
Somerville, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Kaitlin

Hardhat telling story in falsetto voice: Leave me alone! I have a million things on my mind! [Switching to own voice] I’m like, ‘We haven’t had sex in weeks!’

Boston, Massachusetts

Guy with sunglasses on cell: So I went back to the apartment today and he was passed out again! (pause) Yeah, dude, I think he smoked a bowl on my bed and then seized a few times…

B Train
Boston, Massachusetts

Black teen employee to teen girl employee: Some of these people, they want to get to know you and make a connection, and I'm like, “man, I don't want to be your friend, I just want to give you a towel.”

Marino Center
Boston, Massachusetts

Tall gay 20-something male on cell: My niece died. I need a Fresca.

Boston, Massachusetts

Bro: Yeah, I remember the first time I saw someone projectile-vomit.

Northeastern University
Boston, Massachusetts

Old man: I recently had surgery. What was it I had removed? Something that starts with a ‘P’…
Old lady: Was it your pancreas?
Old man: No… It wasn’t my penis, either, because I definitely still have that.

L.L. Bean Outlet
Wareham, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Amanda

Five-year-old boy, loudly interrupting adults: I have a wedgie!
(adults laugh)
Five-year-old boy: This wedgie train is carrying wedgies!

Green Line
Boston, Massachusetts

Male professor, in a very girly voice: Aaaahhh! I'm being trampled by sea horses.

Amherst, Massachusetts

Teen girl #1: Isn’t that, like, dangerous?
Teen girl #2: Well, yeah, but I’m at the point in my life where getting wasted is more important than not dying.

Newbury Street
Boston, Massachusetts