Cab driver, ending phone call: That's why you never marry a chick that'll swallow for an extra $20. Can't believe people like that are on Craigslist!

Boston, Massachusetts

Professor: I just think of this class as 40 days in a row and then it’s over. Like the Jews in Egypt.
Student: It was 40 years.
Professor: 40 years, 40 days. Same difference.

Northeastern University
Boston, Massachusetts

Guy #1: So, where can we get another guy like Brian to drink a lot of water?
Guy #2: Well, Phyllis is out of work.
Guy #1: Who's Phyllis?
Guy #2: She's this really good PR girl. Like a rotten tomato.


Overheard by: Sunny

Kenny Chesney Never Mentioned That

Hungover chick: It was the first time I ever gave a blow job…on a tractor.

Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Shotboy

Punk gesticulating wildly to friends: Unlike Europeans, they have to earn their souls… And they never do, man, they never do!

Harvard Square
Cambridge, Massachusetts

Overheard by: wtf?!

Thuggish teen to friends: Yeah, I’m going antiquing this weekend. For at least an hour.

Orange Line Train
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Julianna

Professor: I think I popped a few Oxycontins before I wrote this so it might not make any sense.

Salem State College
Salem, Massachusetts

Lady to man putting bagels in a bag: Are you getting those because you are Jewish?

Whole Foods
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: jigawhat

Sociology professor: This course is cheap, but I'm expensive, so please make use of me.

Boston University, Massachusetts

Student #1: Jess, come here. I need your help.
Student #2: I am not touching your cooter again.

Smith College
Northampton, Massachusetts