Woman: Are these shirts still buy one, get one free?
Cashier lady: Um, I have no idea. Let me check.
She goes check signs and asks managers.
Cashier lady: No, they’re not. I’m not sure they ever were buy one, get one free.
Woman: Oh, I was just kidding. I wanted to see what you would say. I figured it was worth a shot.
Cashier lady: Oh, well thanks for making me walk all over the store for no reason.
Woman: That’s how you get success, honey.
–The Gap, 18th & 5th
Sober black guy: Oh no, call the ambulance, white man down!
Drunk white guy: I know, I’m such a cracker!
–Lexington & 22nd
Overheard by: Zane Gould
Jewess: My roommate won’t let me use the oven because it hasn’t been made kosher yet.
Jew: Hey, just tell her we’d all be burned in the same oven. That’ll go over well.
–Flatiron Building office
Queer: Can you hold this shirt for me ’til tomorrow?
Shop trannie: No, we can’t put costumes on hold.
Queer: Well, I want to be, like, this Louis XIV go-go boy, and I already got the short shorts and everything, and this shirt would go perfect but I just can’t afford it ’til tomorrow.
–Halloween Adventure, 4th Avenue
Overheard by: sharyn jackson
Girl: Do you have any more slut-nurses?
Counter guy: No, we’re all out of slut-nurses, but we have some slut-devils and some slut-flight attendents.
–Ricky’s, 8th Avenue
Overheard by: Josh Caldwell
Guy: What’s she going as for Halloween?
Girl: A newsie.
Guy: Oh.
Girl: I knew she’d steal my idea, stupid ho-bag.
–Elevator, Water Street Residence
Overheard by: Dan & Travis
Guy: I’ve always loved this mask, it’s so cool.
Girl: Yeah, I guess.
Guy: I mean, I guess I should, considering…
Girl: Right.
Guy: I mean, I was in the movie.
Girl: That was like a decade ago.
Guy: So?
Girl: Yeah, but you were a fucking extra. And you didn’t even have a single line.
–Ricky’s, 22nd & 3rd
Guy: What is this, All Harlots’ Eve?
–3rd Avenue & 8th Street
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
