12-year-old to friend: Pull on my nipples and scream!
–42nd & 5th, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Roger Mortis
Lady to male friend: So, I am unsure how you came to the conclusion that members of a particular race have awesome nipples.
–Bowery & 4th
Overheard by: beantowner
Dude: She was beautiful, but her nipples were like a car accident!
–Last Exit Bar, Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: D
Police dispatch: Mister Nipple is at it again, Midtown.
–Chinatown
Mid-30s male: I thought that we would see more chicks in this place…
Mid-50s male: Yeah! I mean, this is, like, a total sausage-fest in here.
Mid-30s male: Look at that slut over there. You could see her fucking nipples from a mile away.
Mid-50s male: I can’t see shit. Where’s my fucking glasses when I need them?
–MoMA
Overheard by: Wow! Where are the women
Poli-Sci professor: … And the FCC makes rulings so that you can’t show nipples at the Super Bowl.
–Hunter College
Overheard by: Brownsvillegirl
Girl: Wouldn’t it be weird to kill someone using only your nipples?
–Harlem
Overheard by: Argopelter
Tan chick: I don’t want those black bitches looking at my nipples.
–L train
20-ish broad: I just don’t think the tassles are big enough to fit over my nipples.
–Momofuku Ssam Bar, 13th & 2nd
Overheard by: McFreaky
Ghetto dude rapping to friends: Yo, the hash balls there are bigger than your girl’s nipples!
–E 4th St & Ave A
Overheard by: punkee
Nerd: My nipples are so hard they could pick a lock.
–Javits Center
Overheard by: Allisa
Sorostitute: Tonight would have been so much better if my nipple hadn’t exploded.
–Marriott, Times Square
Black chick #1: So I got my nipples pierced.
Black chick #2: No way! Let me see!
Black chick #1: Not on the train!
Black chick #2: It’s not like I haven’t seen them before. Remember at Rashon’s party, where you pulled a Janet Jackson?
–Brooklyn bound F train
Overheard by: Scott
