Teen guy: Pardon me, miss…did you know I have tremendous nipples?
–Donnell Library, W. 53rd Street
Teen guy: Pardon me, miss…did you know I have tremendous nipples?
–Donnell Library, W. 53rd Street
Club boy #1: So you must tell me: how was posh last night?
Club boy #2: Oh, I don't know. I'm not really sure what happened, but at some point someone, um, bit my nipple and ever since, it just, um, hasn't been the same.
–53rd & 9th
Overheard by: Andrew L
Drunk girl to group of friends: And then he slapped my ass, and I was like, “I need to walk away.”
Drunk girl's friend: Why?
Drunk girl: I mean, it was fine for him to play with the fuzzy things on my nipples, but I draw the line at an ass grab.
–E 9th St & Ave A
Overheard by: sternie
Girl, pushing stroller: Jesus, it's so cold out! My nipples are like icicles.
Friend: My nipples are always icy.
–125th & Broadway
Overheard by: LeAnne
Coed: When my nipple-hairs pop up, that means I'm done.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Ladle
Hobo to tiny sexy Asian girl wearing tank top on chilly day: Two nipples for a dime?
–9th Ave & 14th St
Cute gay chick on cell: I am aware that it's pride month, but I still like to keep sharp objects away from my nipples. My gay forefathers did not fight at Stonewall so that I might wear body jewelry.
–4th Ave & 11th St, Brooklyn
Mother to little boy: Those are not meant to be shown in public; nipples are private things.
–A Train
Overheard by: g-lime
Crazy guy, yelling: When I see my nipples in the mirror, I look away!
–Bedford Ave
Overheard by: Zach Rock Steady
College chick #1: Jesus!
College chick #2: What about Jesus?
College chick #1: Jesus, nipples on ice!
–Barnard College
Overheard by: Vicksburg
Awkward tall man: A pigeon hit me in the chest today.
Attractive woman: That's because your chest is where most people's heads are. It was attacking.
Awkward tall man: Yeah, but it just stimulated my nipples a little bit.
–Greenpoint
Overheard by: Fatericbana
Guy to girl: I have a proprietary interest in your nipples.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Hunter (aka
Hobo coming out of cardboard box to group of blonde chicks: Run yo nipples!
–Blake St
Teenage girl: It's so fucking cold my nipples could pick up radio stations.
–Central Park
20-something Asian guy: But I know babies' nipples are so sensitive…
–Grand & Eldridge
Hobo, yelling at couple on the street: What the hell I look like to you? Huh?! I'm a gangsta! If I had three nipples and no legs, I'd still get laid! (shakes cane at them)
–41st & 8th
Overheard by: S&B at STJ
Girl to friend: This party is going to be awesome! Wait. We have to stop somewhere on the way…I gotta pee before I put out tonight.
–Montrose & Graham
Dude: Do you even know what an Animal Collective Listening Party means in the rest of the country?
–Animal Collective Album Listening Party, River Room, Harlem
Overheard by: care bear stare
Girl: I think it's okay if she parties, as long as it's with a bunch of Christians.
–West 4th b/w 6th & MacDougal
Girl to friend: There's this party in the East Village. It's called "Spit." I'll tell you next time I go. It's on Fridays. But my gawd, these guys are cokeheads. I ended up with ten of them in my apartment last week.
–8th & 18th
Overheard by: Sebastian White
Chick on cell: Do parties *count* if there's nothing but necking and spanking and nipple-tweaking?
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Ladle
Guy: I know I'm gay, but the best part of my Bar Mitzvah was meeting the party planner.
–Barns & Noble, 8th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Rijita
Suit: Well, why didn't you stop him? I had to get him in trouble with the deans.
Teenager: Well, it's not my fault if he wants to electrocute his nipples.
–Grand Central
