Girl #1: Oh my God, look at that lady.
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: Titty drip!
Girl #2: Oh my God. Go home and milk yourself.
–19th & 5th
Girl #1: Oh my God, look at that lady.
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: Titty drip!
Girl #2: Oh my God. Go home and milk yourself.
–19th & 5th
Chick #1: Give me your hand!
Chick #2: Give me your nipple!
Chick #1: Give me your hand!
Chick #2: Give me your nipple!
–Mott & Spring
Overheard by: Wondering what she wants the nipple for…
Hot girl: I mean, dudes are going to be staring at you anyway, but if your nipples are poking through your shirt then it’s just all over.
Nerdy Guy: Wow… Yeah!
–Upper East Side
Overheard by: rad dude
Girl #1: Look, yo! You got a tumor on your arm, a tumor!
Girl #2: That’s not a tumor, it’s a mosquito bite… like my tits!
–E Train
Overheard by: Jatmos
Girl: Y’know Catalina who works upstairs? The one with the really big breasts? Whenever it’s a customer’s birthday, she pulls her shirt down, attaches matches to her nipples and lights the cake with them while singing, ‘Happy Birthday.’
Guy: Are her nipples made of wood or something?
Girl: I don’t know. All I know is when I turn around, they’re on fire!
–Uptown N, 23rd St
Overheard by: Jatmos
Man in floor-length green dress to passersby: How do you know if you're having a baby? It's by the way you lift your legs!
–8th & 34th
Guy to girlfriend: Just make sure you tell me if you're on antibiotics. I already got like three babies that way.
–Battery Park
Overheard by: It's how I got mine
Large black man: She was poppin' those babies out like an Easy-Bake Oven!
–Coney Island Broadwalk
Hobo woman yelling at random pregnant woman: I told you be careful with that belly! That baby's gonna die! It gonna die!
–Broadway & Liberty
Overheard by: CG
Man talking animatedly on cell: Yeah! Don't be surprised if the baby comes out with a hairy red ass!
–Spring Street, SoHo
Middle aged woman: Your baby wouldn't stop crying, so I put my tit in his mouth.
–W 12th & W 4th
Overheard by: michael diamond
(little boy has a Hot Wheels car and he's rolling it all over everything around him)
Boy: Mom, can I roll it on your head?
Mom: No, you'll mess up my hair.
Boy: Your arms?
Mom: Yeah, sure.
Boy: Your chest?
Mom: No, that's not appropriate.
Boy: Okay…your nipples?
Mom: That's definitely not appropriate.
Boy (disappointed): Aaww…
–6 Train
Overheard by: 1-800-mattres
Drunk kid: Have you ever seen Asian female nipples?
Asian kid: What?
Drunk kid: I mean, not your own.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Evil
Maintenance worker: I got no problem with him, but he shouldn’t be touching my nipple.
–Women’s rest room, Grand Central Station
Chick #1: I think Moron Titty is a great code name. Like, if you go into the CIA? I think you should be Agent Moron Titty.
Chick #2: Yeah, my nipples have an I.Q. of, like, 75.
–Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: djlindee
