Adult student: It does matrices, too. They’re sorta tricky… You have to kinda slowly drag them out–
Student tutor: –That’s so hot!
–NYU computer lab
Overheard by: matrices maiden
Adult student: It does matrices, too. They’re sorta tricky… You have to kinda slowly drag them out–
Student tutor: –That’s so hot!
–NYU computer lab
Overheard by: matrices maiden
Woman #1: Why don’t we take the elevator?
Woman #2: Don’t we have to wait in the line?
Woman #1: Oh, no, we’re faculty. We can just go up.
Guard: Join the line for the elevator, please!
Woman #1: Oh, we’re faculty.
Guard: And you can join the line for the elevator, please.
Woman #1: Ugh. I’ll just walk up to the third floor, then!
–Silver Center, NYU
Professor: What words do we get from the name Aphrodite?
Student #1: Hermaphrodite.
Professor: Yes — from the union of Aphrodite and Hermes. What else?
Student #2: Aphrodisiac!
Professor: Good! And what is an aphrodisiac?
Students: [Silence.]Professor: Are you all Victorians? Come on… What’s it called when one uses something to arouse sexual appetite?
Student #3: Necrophiliac! [Class laughs.]Professor: I have to advise you to invest in a dictionary, as it’s simply prudent to know the difference between a necrophiliac and an aphrodisiac. Hopefully, you won’t ever need to thank me for that.
–NYU
Overheard by: Cairo
NYU guy #1: I was watching that Dateline show, To Catch a Predator last night on TV.
NYU guy #2: Chris Hansen is the world’s biggest cock-block.
NYU guy #3: Chris Hansen? Didn’t he invent the Muppets?
–NYU Palladium Dining Hall
Bimbette: Oh my god, I’m so horny.
Friend: Did you just see Josh or something?
Bimbette: No, I just watched Newsies!
Friend: Without me?
Bimbette: It was sort of a one-on-one Newsies experience.
Friend: I totally understand… Dancing preteen boys…
–NYU
Overheard by: Kelly
Girl holding tally sheet: Do you want to stick this in my thinger?
Male coworker: You’re lucky it’s me. In the real world–
Girl holding tally sheet: –In the real world people wouldn’t take it there.
–NYU SCPS
Overheard by: she’s lucky i’m gay
NYU professor: So, you don’t know who Robin Hood is or who the three little piggies are? Really? Where did you grow up?
Student: The Bronx.
–Politics class, NYU
Overheard by: jmd
NYU girl: I’m so stressed out.
NYU boy: You’re stressed out? I’m rushing for a fraternity. I’m stressed out.
NYU girl: What do you have to do?
NYU boy: Can’t say. It’s top secret.
NYU girl: Oh my gawd, tell me!
NYU boy, jokingly: I get hazed.
NYU girl: What’s hazed?
NYU boy: Oh my god. Wikipedia it.
NYU girl: What’s Wikipedia? Well, whatever. I want to rush for a fraternity.
NYU boy: You can’t. A fraternity is only for boys.
NYU girl: Ugh, fine! Then I’ll rush for a maternity and I’ll be cooler than you and your top secret fraternity.
NYU boy: Okay, we’re not friends for ten minutes.
–Starbucks, W 4th
Guy: Did you try rebooting?
Chick: Of course.
Guy: Because that’s the first thing you should try doing when you–
Chick: –Look, half the guys I’ve dated have been in tech support. I’ve picked up a hell of a lot more than just VD. I know about rebooting.
–NYU
Overheard by: ctrl alt delete
Professor: Care to elaborate on that?
Student who answered question: I’d rather not.
–NYU Law School
Overheard by: Vitto
Headline by: Alli
Runners-Up:
· “But I would like to know the specifics of why you think I should go fuck myself.” – Bassmanbish
· “I Don’t Think I Could. I Elaborated In The Shower This Morning.” – Redneck Jedi
· “Let me rephrase, what the fuck do you mean?” – chris sowell
· “Objection! Asked and answered.” – Law School Dropout
· “See ‘Billing By the Hour’ to Learn Why That’s the Wrong Answer” – PhoenixRising
· “The first rule of law school is: We do not talk about law school.” – Steve-o
