Dude #1: Yo, check it out: this chick in the lecture I was just in — huge tits, bro.
Dude #2: Yeah?
Dude #1: Yeah. Fucking bombs.
Dude #2: That’s it? That’s the story? I mean, I like tits, but there’s gotta be a point to a story, man.
Dude #1, after long pause: … Fag.
–Kimmel Center, NYU
Overheard by: that guy
Professor: … And who doesn’t want to be Buffy the Vampire Slayer?!
Girl: I don’t.
Professor: Well, fine. You’re a freak.
–NYU
Skinny girl #1: Have you ever seen fat people eat?
Skinny girl #2: Come to think of it, I haven’t.
Skinny girl #1: I know! Isn’t that what they call ironic?
–NYU
Stoner: She’s so fucking hot because she’s Asian and she only goes by one name — Selena — so you know she’s hot. Like Madonna… Or Jesus… Or Gandhi… Or Cher.
Friend: Gandhi had two names, dumbass.
–NYU Weinstein Dining Hall
Student #1, on Jewish circumcision: Isn’t it, like, they cut off your foreskin and put it on your head?
Student #2: Oh my god, that is so awesome! If you could get foreskin yarmulkes, I would totally become Jewish.
–NYU
Student: Old people sex?! Ewww!
71-year-old professor: Don’t you know that old people fuck like rabbits? We love it!
–NYU
Overheard by: Ash
Skinny girl: We should volunteer at an eating disorder clinic.
Friend: Yeah, that would be fun. And we’d be, like, helping people.
Skinny girl: But wait — if we volunteer there, what if we get influenced and change our beliefs about food and think that not being skinny is sexy?
Friend: No, that wouldn’t happen… It would be motivation, because you would think, ‘Wow, she’s skinner than me.’
–NYU Silver Center
Black guy, popping white friend’s collar: Man, what’d I tell you about that?
White friend, putting it down: But I don’t want to.
Girl: Leave him alone — he ain’t ready for that yet.
–NYU Kimmel Building
Guy: I wish my parents had circumcised me… I want to be cut, but I can’t imagine going through the pain now.
Pal: Yeah, glad I don’t have that hanging over my head…
–NYU
Overheard by: TMan
Professor: What’s the second largest profession in the U.S.?
Jersey dude: Prostitutes!
–NYU
