NYU

Clap If You Believe in Wednesday One-Liners

Grad student chick: Yoda is not a relative. He’s little and green.

–NYU

12-year-old boy: I’m in a grey area right now as to whether Santa exists or not. I need more evidence.

–E 20th St

Overheard by: Dia

Customer to cashier: Frodo, it’s been real.

–Barnes & Noble, 18th & 5th

Overheard by: I Am McLovey

Thug: You know what, nigga? I think all them zombies are racist mothafuckahs. You notice they always eat the brotha first? What are we, covered in mothafuckin’ chocolate? Do I look like a fondue fountain? That’s some bullshit.

–189th & Bathgate

Overheard by: Lyle

Hobo, in false British accent: Of all the dimensions in the universe, I had to end up in this one! New York — filthy, dirty, grimy. Greatest city in the world? Bah! I could have been fighting dragons with Merlin, but no! I had to end up here!

–6 train

But You Know “Annotated Bibliography”?

Student #1: I finally finished that annotated bibliography.
Student #2: Oh, that’s not due until Thursday.
Student #1: Thursday?
Student #2: Yeah, didn’t you get the e-mail?
Student #1: E-mail?!
Student #2: Well, it was mentioned in class on Tuesday.
Student #1: Class?!

–NYU

Thank God for Stellated Dodecahedrons

Guy #1: I hate it.
Guy #2: You hate circles, too.
Guy #1: Yeah, but circles suck.

–NYU

Overheard by: sunwonbay

The Bodies Exhibit?

Poli-sci professor: How can someone directly counteract the message of porn? What is the counter speech alternative?
Student: Seventh Heaven?

–NYU

Overheard by: Rajsingh Rules

Today on The Jung and the Restless

Psych girl #1: So, how did your date go?
Psych girl #2: Oh, well, I felt that he definitely fit an archetype… But a good archetype.

–NYU Silver Center

Overheard by: Abram

I Mean, It Was a Root Canal

Dude #1: Whoa, dude! On the first date? That’s like anal!
Dude #2: Nah, man, that’s like drilling her a new hole!

–Silver Center, NYU

Overheard by: Gidget

No One Could Really Call Al Gore “Alive”

NYU chick #1: So, is he dead?
NYU chick #2: Well, he wakes up, but… you know…

–Brown Building Lab, NYU

Not on a Full Stomach

Law gal #1: This is more pointless than giving a butt-ugly girl a nice haircut.
Law gal #2: Hey, a nice haircut helps.
Law gal #1: Have you looked at me lately?

–NYU Law Courtyard

Their Names Are “Delirium” and “Tremens”

Girl: What’s the deal with New York’s bagels, anyway? I mean, they’re delicious! What do you think New Yorkers do differently to their bagels that makes them so… Oh, look at you! You’re too drunk to keep up with me because I’m speaking so rapidly.
Drunk guy: I’m listening to your rabbits!

–NYU

Overheard by: Evan Regas

That’ll Be $75

Freshman: Hi… I’ll get, uh… um… a Screwdriver and, um, a Corona, and with a lime.
Bartender: Generally, when you order a Corona it comes with a lime.
Freshman: Where I’m from, you don’t get a lime unless you ask for it.
Bartender: Where are you from?
Freshman: Westchester.

–Bar near NYU

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