Guy at register: So, where do you go to college?
Girl checking out with mom: Erm, Wellesley.
Guy at register: Oh no way! I went to Wellesley! How is it these days?
–Columbia University
Guy at register: So, where do you go to college?
Girl checking out with mom: Erm, Wellesley.
Guy at register: Oh no way! I went to Wellesley! How is it these days?
–Columbia University
Older guy: Are you a millionaire?
Younger lady: No, my parents are in the Polish mafia.
–Leonard between Meserole & Norman, Greenpoint
Overheard by: Greg
Hot chick: So, I just wanted to let you know I’m just coming out of a relationship.
Buff dude: Oh. Well, then I should tell you that I used to be a stripper in Chicago.
Hot chick: Hmm…I have herpes.
Buff dude: That’s ok, I have two cats.
–Scruffy Duffy’s, 8th Ave between 46th & 47th
Crackhead: If my wife looked like you, I would stop smoking crack and get a job.
Businessgirl: Thanks.
–53rd & 7th
Drunk girl: I want to call my boyfriend so I can have sex.
Random drunk guy: Well, save yourself a call and have sex with me.
Drunk girl: That makes sense…….ok!
–10th St & 3rd Ave
Dude: I’d like to invite you to take part in my new venture. I call it Kebabes.
Chick: What is it?
Dude: It’s like a kebab joint but with sexy ladies.
–In line at Quo, 28th & 10th
Overheard by: Anisha & Meg
Headline by: Laura C
Runners-Up:
· But She’s Already Working at Falafellatio – Momolo
· Not for Humusexuals – ndsd1
Honorable Mentions:
· Well, It’s Better Than Kebabies – Matthew H
· Insert Skewer Joke Here….. – Tim White
· That’s Just Falawful – Chris Cunnyngham
· Turkish Delight! – Hobo Whisperer
· They’ve Got Great Hummus, Too – Anonymous
· Meat Marketing? – Xana
· I Knew I Looked Succulent Today… – Sarah
Older black gentleman in suit: Hey man, can you help me out?
Arab guy in limo smiles and says nothing.
Black man: I’m, uh, I’m lookin’ for someone to go home with tonight. ‘Cause I’m a gay guy, see. Well, I mean, I’m kind of a swing guy. I like to, uh… ascend to different levels.
Hipster guy walking past: What is it, like, a video game?
Black guy: Yeah! Yeah, baby, it’s a video game. ‘Cept when I win… I fuck you.
–44th & 6th
Overheard by: Peebs
Drunk guy: Hey there! Have we met before? I’m sure we have.
Sober girl: No, we haven’t.
Drunk guy: Yeah we have! Where do I know you from?
Sober girl: No where. We’ve never met.
Drunk guy: YES, we have! I know we have!
Sober girl: Yeah, now that you mention it. We have met.
Drunk guy: See! I told you. Where did we meet again?
Sober girl: Your dreams, drunkie.
–Sutton Place, 53rd & 2nd
Girl #1: Hi…What are you drinking?
Girl #2: Hi. It’s rum and cranberry.
Girl #1: Are you single?
Girl #2: Yeah
Girl #1: I love my boyfriend…but sometimes I just wanna fuck other people.
Girl #2 just stares at Girl 1.
Girl #1: Have you ever been in love?
Girl #2: Yeah
Girl #1: Didn’t you ever just wanna fuck other people?
Girl #2: Umm…no. Not when I was with him. You might have a problem.
Girl #1: Wanna go to the bathroom?
Girl #2: Definitely not.
–The Hairy Monk
Overheard by: Shannon
Girl: How much is the water?
Newstand guy: $1.25. Do you want a bag?
Girl: No thanks.
Newstand guy: What about a straw?
Girl: No.
Newstand guy: How about me?
–E 68th & 3rd ave
