Conductor: You know what stop this is?
Alabaster college prep: Harlem?
Conductor: Mmm-hm… Hope you find what you’re looking for, son.
–125th St station, Harlem
Conductor: You know what stop this is?
Alabaster college prep: Harlem?
Conductor: Mmm-hm… Hope you find what you’re looking for, son.
–125th St station, Harlem
Woman, while hugging man: What is this?
Man: Huh?
Woman, picking hair off his shirt: This is not my hair!
–42nd St station
Overheard by: Geneedwin
Professor-like man: Excuse me, are you a Muslim?
Muslim man, slightly hesitant: Yes, why?
Professor-like man: Well, I was hoping you could answer a question I have about the Koran that I’ve been wondering about for a while. [Muslim man nods.] Can you tell me everything the Koran says about female circumcision?
Muslim man: Is there a bus stop nearby?
–Outside Columbia University subway entrance
Overheard by: Matthew
MTA announcement: Due to an earlier incident, service on the number one line is running slowly. Please be patient.
Girl on stairs: Please be patient… What do they mean?
–59th St station
Overheard by: Sibyl
Man #1: What is going on here?
Man #2: They are filming the new Sex in the City movie with Sarah Jessica Parker. They have the entrance to the subway blocked off.
Man #1: Wonderful. I wouldn’t even know what Sarah Jessica Parker looks like.
Woman nearby: Hi. I’m Sarah Jessica Parker.
Man #1: Nice to meet you. Can I go home now?
Sarah Jessica Parker: Sure, go ahead.
–Outside 6 train entrance
Overheard by: Matt
Wannabe hipster girl: Hey, are you going to that Arcade Fire-LCD Soundsystem show later?
Hipster girl in gold and purple-striped tights: Nah… I was going to, but [sigh] there are just gonna be so many hipsters there…
–L train station, Graham Ave
Overheard by: Not a hipster
Teen homie #1: Nah, dude, I’m a man.
Teen homie #2: I’m older than you — how you a man?
Teen homie #1: ‘Cause I ain’t no virgin like you.
–86th St station
Suit #1, looking down at subway tracks: Man, you’ve got like a foot and a half of empty space there! Come on, how much would you do it for?
Suit #2: Lie down under a train?!
Suit #1: Yeah, man!
Suit #2: One hundred dollars.
–6 train platform, Grand Central
Overheard by: Christine
Toddler in stroller: Fuck you! Hahaha! Fuck you! Hahaha!
Tourist mom: Did that baby just say ‘fuck you’? This is the tenth time we’ve been to the city, and I’ve never seen anything that odd.
Tourist daughter: We are on Canal Street, Mom.
Tourist mom: This is very true. Way to go, stroller kid! Yeah!
–Canal St station
Overheard by: AldaRin
Queer #1: Oh my god! You know that rat?
Queer #2: What rat?
Queer #1: You know — Mike’s rat — the one that sings “New York, New York.”
Queer #2: Oh! That rat! I love that rat! [Begins singing “New York, New York.”]
–Broadway platform, N train, Astoria
Overheard by: Canadian Girl
