MTA worker, holding bucket: Hey! Buddy, did you take a shit over there by that machine?
Hobo, laughing: Not yet!
–A/C/E/L station, 14th & 8th
Overheard by: JayBee
MTA worker, holding bucket: Hey! Buddy, did you take a shit over there by that machine?
Hobo, laughing: Not yet!
–A/C/E/L station, 14th & 8th
Overheard by: JayBee
20-ish white girl to friends: Guys, sometimes I just feel like the only white girl in the city…
–Fulton St
Overheard by: other white girls
Hobo peering in from sidewalk: Ain’t nothin’ but white people all up in this motherfucker! This shit is racist, yo!
–Garden of Eden, 107th & Broadway
Overheard by: Bubby
Black girl on cell: He fucked a white girl? He fucked a white girl?! How stupid is he? You know if you fuck a white girl you gotta get her consent and then sign a contract!
–PATH platform
Angry black traveler on cell: Do you know how long it takes me to get to JFK from my place?! I’m surrounded by crackers! I. Do. Not. Want. To. Be. Here. Crackers all starin’ at me… I dunno what they’re lookin’ at.
–JFK
Overheard by: Not A Cracker But Staring Anyway
Old white guy at Cirque du Soleil show, to daughter: Is this primarily a white thing? I guess that’s why I don’t like this show. I’ve got too much soul for this.
–Madison Square Garden
Drunk black lesbian: I am not racist in any way. I believe that it’s something that’s taught and passed down from your parents. I am not a racist… but what’s up with white people?!
–D train
Man #1: We’ve got to get the L train goingleft!
Man #2: No, we’ve got to get the L train going right!
–C train platform, Penn Station
Overheard by: courtenay
Tourist: Excuse me, can you tell us how to get to downtown?
Local: Downtown where?
Tourist: Times Square.
–N/Q uptown platform, Canal St
Tourist #1: This is the entrance, that’s the exit! You need to wait your turn in line to get out the right way.
Tourist #2, plowing through gate: Pshhh. Tourists!
–Times Square station
Overheard by: Ava
Tiny lady suit staring at stairs, to no one in particular: I wish someone would just carry me up…
Huge, burly guy: I’ll carry you.
Tiny lady suit: Ew! Gross!
–E station, 7th Ave
Conductor: You know what stop this is?
Alabaster college prep: Harlem?
Conductor: Mmm-hm… Hope you find what you’re looking for, son.
–125th St station, Harlem
Woman, while hugging man: What is this?
Man: Huh?
Woman, picking hair off his shirt: This is not my hair!
–42nd St station
Overheard by: Geneedwin
Professor-like man: Excuse me, are you a Muslim?
Muslim man, slightly hesitant: Yes, why?
Professor-like man: Well, I was hoping you could answer a question I have about the Koran that I’ve been wondering about for a while. [Muslim man nods.] Can you tell me everything the Koran says about female circumcision?
Muslim man: Is there a bus stop nearby?
–Outside Columbia University subway entrance
Overheard by: Matthew
MTA announcement: Due to an earlier incident, service on the number one line is running slowly. Please be patient.
Girl on stairs: Please be patient… What do they mean?
–59th St station
Overheard by: Sibyl
