Foreign language professor on first day of class (in Russian): By the end of this year, I will have you singing like Russian whores!

University of Memphis
Memphis, Tennessee

Loud smoking kid: Man, I gotta help out at vacation bible school next week.
Girl: Why?
Loud smoking kid: I promised Zach I would if I wasn't in jail.

Sewanee, Tennessee

Professor: At every threshold capacity spanking is happening!

Vanderbilt University
Nashville, Tennessee

Female: What are you gonna be for Halloween?
Child: Al Capone.
Female: But you're Al Capone every day.

Memphis, Tennessee

Animal technician: Oh, did she pipette her hoo-hah yesterday?

Research facility
Nashville, Tennessee

Overheard by: Jessica Bessica

Tween #1, excitedly: Oh my god! Look, it's High School Musical stuff!
Tween #2: I hate High School Musical.
Tween #1: Oh, well… so do I!

Hickory Hollow Mall
Nashville, Tennessee

Overheard by: i hate it too

Dave Matthews Band groupie: Dude, the violinist totally screwed Dave up. He, like, totally blew his wad all over Dave’s song!

Starwood Amphitheater merchandise stand
Nashville, Tennessee

Dude: But he fucked my mom!
Friend: Well, you did steal his dog.
Dude: Yeah, I guess.

Flea Market

Overheard by: Mouse

Thrilled grandma: She was smiling so much, she could have shit her face.

Chattanooga State Library
Chattanooga, Tennessee

Overheard by: Joe!

American girl: I get really emotional when I'm in church. I feel like I don't deserve to be there.
Brazilian girl: That's because you deserve to be in prison.

Nashville, Tennessee