Girl #1: You know, I’ve always been interested in a relationship with my cat.
Girl #2: I think that’s illegal… pretty much everywhere.
Girl #1: So is giving your donkey weed, but here we are.
–A train
Girl #1: You know, I’ve always been interested in a relationship with my cat.
Girl #2: I think that’s illegal… pretty much everywhere.
Girl #1: So is giving your donkey weed, but here we are.
–A train
Woman sitting on bench with small dog on lap: You know that no matter what you do, I will always love you, right?
–1st & 87th
Deli guy: You can’t have that dog in here.
Lady: But he’s a service dog!
Deli guy: What? We’ll get a ticket if you have a dog in here.
Lady: He’s a service dog. He’s just like a seeing eye dog.
Deli guy: What is he, a chihuahua? A poodle? He’s not a seeing eye dog.
Lady: He’s a Pomeranian! And he’s a service dog! He even has a little vest, do you need me to put him in his little vest?
Deli guy: He look like a rat with a wig on.
Lady: He’s a service dog! You can’t make me leave! He’s just like a seeing eye dog!
Deli guy: But you’re not blind!
Lady: I could sue you if you make me leave! I’ll put him in his little vest, then you’ll see!
–Bagel Mill, 88th & Lex
Overheard by: Loretta P.
Boy #1: That bitch kind of looks like her dog.
Boy #2: Yeah, but she’s busted.
Boy #1: Word, I’d definitely pipe the dog before I piped her.
Boy #2: What the fuck?
–Strawberry Fields, Central Park
Overheard by: sarahh
Guy #1: Man, what kind of dog is that?
Guy #2: I don’t know, but it shits a lot.
–125th & Broadway
Overheard by: LoJo
Guy #1: Hey, watch it! Jerk!
Guy #2: Get a bigger dog, asshole!
Guy #1: Be a smaller person!
–Bleecker & Perry
Overheard by: Zell
Crazy lady: Does anyone know how to get to the fucking G train? I need to get to a fucking job interview at 6!
Man #1: I swear it’s really not like this all the time.
Woman: What kind of job is she going for?
Man #2: I hope it’s not customer service.
Man #3: Hey baby, just follow me. I’m getting on the G right now.
Crazy lady: Go suck a dead dog’s dick.
Man #3: So what’s that taste like?
Crazy lady: A dead dog’s dick.
–4 train
Crazy dude: Daffy Duck is my favorite character, but Walt Disney was an anti-Semite and I’m a Jew. I used to watch cartoons but someone stole my television.
Dude #2: Daffy Duck stole your television?
Crazy dude: No. Daffy Duck is my best friend.
–F train
Overheard by: Gunner
Man: Those are some fine-lookin’ sweaters!
Old lady: Do you like them? I made them, you know.
Man: You made those?
Old lady: I did.
Man: Do you think you could make one for him?
Old lady: I would be delighted!
Man: But, you know…I mean…like, for a boy chihuahua.
–11th & B
Overheard by: Stephanie Matthew-Diaz
Girl #1: What? What are you talking about? I’m talking about the Johnny Cash song, A Boy Named Sue!
Girl #2: And I’m talking about my dog being a cross-dresser.
–27th & 7th
Cop: How do you say “dog” in Spanish?
Starbucks guy: Perro.
Cop: Okay. How do you say “dog” in Mexican?
Starbucks guy: Usted es un idiota.
–Starbucks, 47th & 5th
